Alas, the Ice Cream Licking Challenge is no more.
Faded from the collective online consciousness almost as quickly as it arrived, it did at least validate my habit of always selecting loosely packaged food items from the very back of the shelf.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, a woman from Texas seemingly started the viral craze when she opening up a tub of supermarket ice-cream before licking the contents and putting it back.
Over recent years there have been many ‘challenges’ that have circulated online, the majority of them entirely pointless and also occasionally damaging to the health of participants (anyone for a tide pod?), but pretty much always funny in at least some respect.
Be it the pointlessness of this recent frozen dairy licking or the admittedly more impressive bottle top removal methods I’ve seen, the stream of challenges is seemingly infinite. I have therefore taken it upon myself to predict/propose what to expect from the rest of 2019.
1. Hungry Horse
This is basically the Chubby Bunny except you use oats instead of marshmallows. Vegan friendly.
2. The Light Switch Challenge
Stand/sit a reasonable distance away from a light switch, throw anything you like at it in order to turn it off, literally anything. Plenty of scope for imagination with this one.
3. Cat Bag
Put a receptacle on the floor, the stranger/more awkwardly shaped the better. Wait for your cat to sit inside of it and then pick it up and say “Cat Bag”. If you have more than one cat available it is possible to race them.
4. The Fabregas
Get a pizza and just throw it. Throw it as far as you can. Any size pizza will do but obviously a 12″ deep dish is most impressive. Distance is not the only element to this challenge, however. You must land it on the most interesting object/person available, at the greatest distance.
5. Please Baa Back Sheep
This one is only possible if you have access to sheep. Baa at one until it baas back. You could also do this with cows. Experts may wish to try it with a horse.
6. The Cha Cha
Slide as far as you can across a slippery surface. I’m thinking supermarket/Ikea/B&Q floors for this one. Upright or horizontal slides are permitted. Essentially just F1 planking.
7. Duck, Duck, Mousse
I don’t really know. I just came up with the phrase Duck, Duck, Mousse and thought it’d be good. Something involving eating a little pot of mousse very quickly and then running away.
8. The Garlic Challenge
The cinnamon challenge except infinitely more repulsive. Put a teaspoon full of powered garlic in your mouth. If you actually manage to swallow it then I really don’t know what to say.
9. Summoning Circle
This is another one that involves cats sitting inside of things, so apologies to dog owners but cats are just better at this. It’s said that if you draw a circle on the floor, cats will sit inside of it. Make a circle out of anything you like, the stranger the better, and summon your cat to its centre.
Replace all family photos on display in your home with photos of Nicolas Cage. Winner is whoever’s family goes the longest without noticing. Alternatively, if you and a fellow participant live under one roof, each choose just one photo frame to sabotage. The loser is whoever’s gets noticed first.
Whether you actually choose to participate in any of these is not within my control, I am merely a writer, but please don’t be aggravating any farm animals on my behalf.