A New Pillow Has Been Invented To Stop You Getting A Dead Arm When You’re Spooning

Alfie PowellAlfie Powell in News, Weird, World
Published 03.07.19
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You can’t beat a bit of spooning.

That is until you get that the face full of hair, the dead arm and the inevitable morning glory, which can be taken one of two ways: “ugh don’t you ever switch off?!” or “Ooh good morning to you too”, and only some of the time you’re into the latter. Mostly you just need a piss.

Alas, spooning is apparently the pinnacle of a healthy relationship, and that’s why you need to endure it.

Don’t get me wrong, it is lovely, but it’s not easy to sustain for over, say, ten minutes. Some of the spooned want it maintained well into the night – perhaps into the morning –  but they never consider whichever arm the spooner is laying on.

Simply put, prolonged spooning hurts, and you can never find anywhere to put your other arm.

You can beat a bit of spooning.

That was until now…

A US company going by the name Coodle have invented a brand new pillow that allows the spooner to slip their arm beneath a cushioned arch, which the spoonee rests their weary head on.

Made with a ribbed plastic arch within, the Coodle is coated in thick memory foam to ensure maximum comfort.

As far as pillows go, it’s not cheap – coming in at $65 (£49) – which, when you consider that you could probably just stick your arm under a normal pillow, probably isn’t worth it.

Still, it’s a status symbol. I spent £30 on a water bottle the other day. Not a clue why. It has elephants on it, which might have something to do with my reasoning but still a huge waste of money.

The pillow was made by real couple Bob and Shirley – it’s unknown whether their surname is Coodle – when they tried to come up with an answer mankind’s biggest qualm.

Bob made the first one by bending plastic in the oven, before cushioning it. He then secured a utility patent from the United States Patent Office.

The website says:

A concept, a dream, an invention can spark a person’s spirit so that it bypasses doubt and fear. Making the leap, big or small, is something we all do in our lives. We won’t know success if we let that opportunity pass or fade away.

Come on, guys. It’s just a pillow.

Also, and I hate to be rude, if you look closely you’ll see that they’re idiots. Look at the photos they’ve used to advertise their lovely little pillows. Everyone’s covered in cables.

They’re literally wrapping around people’s arms. Doing a very good job of negating the comfort enjoyed from the Coodle, there.

I don’t know. I’ll probably end up getting one even though it’s been a painfully long time since I’ve shared my bed with anyone. To be honest, that’s probably why I’m mad at a pillow all of a sudden.

The fruits of 2018 didn’t bear their juicy flesh to me. Let’s hope 2019 changes that or this time next year I’ll be slagging off a duvet.

Images via Coodle

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