Amazon Are Selling ‘Child-Proof’ Pants That Protect Dads From Being Hit In The Balls

Alfie PowellAlfie Powell in Funny, News
Published 19.11.19
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New underwear available on Amazon will stop you from being hit in the balls, becoming known as child-proof pants.

I had no idea this was as a big a problem as it is, but here I am writing about underwear that shields your poor crotch from getting a kick from a kid.

It’s been a while since I’ve been hit in the groin. Now that I’ve written that, it’ll definitely happen to me today, but I’ve got to say; as a child and teen I really thought a blow to the balls would be a bigger problem than it’s turned out to be. Sort of like magpies stealing my jewellery.

Apparently though once a child enters your life, you’re a lot more liable for a knock in the balls. I guess play-fighting or playing football or whatever has something to do with this and it’s got to such a point that measures have to be taken by fathers to make sure they stay safe.

With that, a rather wonderful invention has been… invented, which cushions a blow to the groin and saves people from the stomach-turning pain of said contact.

Fridababy are the company responsible as they have released the FridaBalls Boxer Brief with a removable foam box (or cup) for obvious reasons…

Fridababy advertise their invention to have “Heirloom conservation technology” and as well as being more than just a hardhat for your balls, their breathable fabric “keeps everything fresh down there” and feature a “never slip secure waistband,” whatever that means.

I know what they’re getting at, obviously, but I’ve never had my pants falling down be an issue for me.

The description reads:

Protecting Your Tomorrow. Today.

The hits keep coming when you’re a Dad. Head butts, the baby carrier swinging heels, and the good ole Sunday morning bed jump. Parenting really can be a contact sport. FridaBalls is the world’s first Dad friendly underwear, designed to simultaneously protect your [Frida]Balls and your lineage.

They’re not cheap, costing a couple of pounds over £30, but I guess you can’t put a price on safety.

Images via Amazon, Getty

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