Amazon Are Selling ‘Child-Proof’ Pants That Protect Dads From Being Hit In The Balls

Alfie PowellAlfie Powell in Funny, News
Published 19.11.19

New underwear available on Amazon will stop you from being hit in the balls, becoming known as child-proof pants.

I had no idea this was as a big a problem as it is, but here I am writing about underwear that shields your poor crotch from getting a kick from a kid.

It’s been a while since I’ve been hit in the groin. Now that I’ve written that, it’ll definitely happen to me today, but I’ve got to say; as a child and teen I really thought a blow to the balls would be a bigger problem than it’s turned out to be. Sort of like magpies stealing my jewellery.


Apparently though once a child enters your life, you’re a lot more liable for a knock in the balls. I guess play-fighting or playing football or whatever has something to do with this and it’s got to such a point that measures have to be taken by fathers to make sure they stay safe.


With that, a rather wonderful invention has been… invented, which cushions a blow to the groin and saves people from the stomach-turning pain of said contact.

Fridababy are the company responsible as they have released the FridaBalls Boxer Brief with a removable foam box (or cup) for obvious reasons…


Fridababy advertise their invention to have “Heirloom conservation technology” and as well as being more than just a hardhat for your balls, their breathable fabric “keeps everything fresh down there” and feature a “never slip secure waistband,” whatever that means.

I know what they’re getting at, obviously, but I’ve never had my pants falling down be an issue for me.

The description reads:

Protecting Your Tomorrow. Today.


The hits keep coming when you’re a Dad. Head butts, the baby carrier swinging heels, and the good ole Sunday morning bed jump. Parenting really can be a contact sport. FridaBalls is the world’s first Dad friendly underwear, designed to simultaneously protect your [Frida]Balls and your lineage.

They’re not cheap, costing a couple of pounds over £30, but I guess you can’t put a price on safety.

Images via Amazon, Getty