American’s Attempt At Making Beans On Toast Is An Absolute Abomination

Joshua RogersJoshua Rogers in News, UK, World
Published 02.07.20

Beans on toast is about as British as it gets, right up there alongside the Royal Family and Wetherspoons.

It’s the staple diet of students across the land and pretty much single-handedly responsible for keeping me alive during those penny-pinching years as a young scholar.

God bless it.

Not only is it cheap and delicious, a monkey with half a brain could cobble it together. Monkeys with half brains, but not Americans, apparently.

Despite our history and close connection, there are many things Americans just don’t get about British life, and beans on toast is seemingly one of them. I say that because one woman from across the pond has managed to butcher the iconic dish, creating what can only be described as a culinary abomination while pissing off just about everyone.

TikTok user @jchelle36, an American woman living in the UK, has been documenting her life with her 191,000 followers and shared her take on the meal.

In the clip, Michelle says: “Everyone has requested that I make a traditional British breakfast, so today we’re gonna make beans on toast!

“So the first step is you wanna get your bread, then you want to add the beans.”

Emptying the tin onto the un-toasted slice of bread, she adds: “I’m just gonna pour mine on there, juice and all.”

@jchelle36

American cooking beans on toast in the UK #americanintheuk @nichole.caroline

♬ original sound – jchelle36

Next, she grabs a slice of processed cheese and places it on top of the beans.

“Then you wanna put it in the microwave,” she says, before finishing with a smile: “And that’s how you make beans on toast!”

Yep, you really nailed it alright.

I mean, it’s insulting at best, and yeah, I do take it pretty personally. It’s essentially like me attempting to make a Key Lime pie and instead using apples and breadcrumbs.

The nerve.

One person called said “Nobody in the UK has ever, ever made beans on toast in this manner”, while another called it a ‘national outrage’.

Absolutely.

The thing is, the woman’s got previous, and so in all likelihood is doing it for sweet views and engagement.

She recently tried to make a lovely cup of British tea with her daughter and got it painfully, dismally wrong.

@jchelle36

Americans making hot tea 🍵 #americanintheuk @mleemaster10

♬ original sound – jchelle36

It’s infuriating, isn’t it?

And while I know she’s doing it as a parody and for a laugh, the sheer audacity to even joke about our beloved food and drink boils my piss.

Whatever next? How to make crumpets featuring a 30 ft Texas BBQ Grill?

Leave our stuff alone, America.

Images via TikTok

Comments