I’ll probably get a load of sh*t for saying this, but sausage dogs really are the best kind of dogs, aren’t they? I mean even if you’re not a dog person, there’s something about those floppy ears, tiny legs and sausage shaped bods that can just melt the hearts of even the biggest Scrooges in this world.
OMG, maybe that’s all Donald Trump really needs… the love of a sausage dog. Sh*t, I might’ve just saved the world.
See, sausage dogs are the best.
Before anyone starts shouting at me for talking about Christmas decorations in October, let me stop you right there. I’m not talking about Christmas decorations; I’m talking about a sausage dog-themed Christmas homeware range, which I think most of us would agree is very much an all-year round discussion.
ASDA’s new sausage dog homeware range is truly something to behold – honestly, without actually selling sausage dogs themselves (imagine), ASDA has pretty much thought of everything I never knew I actually needed. Below are some of our (my) absolute faves.
By far the most ‘pawesome’ in the collection is this Sausage Dog Shaped Christmas Light.
Just think, it will never sh*t in your house, but it will ALWAYS look pretty and provide mood lighting. ASDA describe this £25 bargain as follows:
“Give this friendly pup a home this Christmas. Pre-lit with warm white lights, this sweet canine from George Home comes wearing Santa’s hat and a sparkly blue scarf.”
“This Christmas sausage dog cushion from George Home will make a wonderful addition to your home this festive season. Made from pure cotton, it features a sweet sausage dog carrying presents and a snowflake background”.
Come on, it’s cuter than cute and a festive bargain! I’m changing my Tinder bio to that rn.
“Make Christmas extra special with this sausage dog throw from George Home. Made from super soft fabric for a cosy finish, its perfect for snuggling up in,” says ASDA.
Did Nigella Lawson write these product descriptions? Seriously, I think I can actually hear her voice now.
Ornaments and duvet sets (for kids, unfortunately) make up the rest of the Christmasy sausage dog collection, but honestly, ASDA, you had me at that Christmas light.
If jetting off to somewhere gorgeous and lovely this Christmas, firstly, I hate you, and secondly, I have considered you, too, while writing this article. If y0u’re bringing in the festive season poolside this year, be sure to pick up one of these before you jet off. I’d hate you to miss out on such a clear seasonal trend.
If I don’t find anything sausage-related in my stocking this year, then it’s clear that my friends and family don’t know me as well as I thought they did. Oh, I left out “dog”, didn’t I?
Images via ASDA
Having worked in children's media and publishing for almost a decade, Ben is thoroughly excited to now be able to swear in stories and features. He is such a big fan of Disney and Horror films that he started an LGBTQ+ podcast called 'Once Upon A Scream'. His mum listens. You can contact Ben at firstname.lastname@example.org. Twitter: @PulsfordBen / Instagram: @thebenmidlerFollow