There I am, essentially necking on with a garlic bread for the best part of ten minutes, when out of the corner of my eye I spot a lovely-looking girl enter the shop.
Inhibitions out the window and without hesitation, I put the cheesy GB down, mustered up the courage to go over to her and shouted, very rudely, “Do you wanna go out with me?”
After taking one look at my sorrowful state, she uttered the words that would shape the rest of my college years: “F*ck off you loser, why don’t you come back when you’ve got rid of that cheese on your chin. Cheezoid”.
I was known as Cheezoid for the next two years.
Took me ages to get over that.
With a nickname like that, it’s impossible not to love cheese (I was recently at a Nandos launch with work and nearly got kicked out for eating too many halloumi sticks).
Which is precisely why I wanted to write this article about the ‘Cheebab’ – a new vegetarian kebab made from – you guessed it – cheese.
This monster of an invention comes from Roland Rüegg of Zurich-based dairy farm Natürli, which describes the product as ‘the new, tasty, vegetarian kebab variant from Zürioberländer milk‘.
According to Munchies, the Cheebab has a combination of cheddar, halloumi, and Raclette vibes and is both well-seasoned and strong (but not overwhelming).
Speaking to Munchies, Rüegg explained how the Cheebab came to be:
He said: “I had a hunch that kebab shops could offer something with cheese, and we also like to work on new recipes in production.
“From the initial vision to the first usable result, it took us about a year between the recipe and the production.
“The Cheebab has been around since May of 2018 and we’ve been overrun with requests ever since.“
He continued: “It should just be an alternative for vegetarians. Which is why we’ve also made sure that the lab used for our cheese production is vegetarian-friendly.“
But to all meat-lovers out there who fear this could spell the end for the mighty doner kebab – kind of like how grey squirrels essentially displaced red squirrels in the UK – fear not.
The Cheebab is simply an ‘alternative’.
Rüegg added: “It should just be an alternative for vegetarians. Which is why we’ve also made sure that the lab used for our cheese production is vegetarian-friendly.“
According to the Natürli website, the Cheebab is available to buy daily from a snack bar, restaurant and shisha lounge in Zurich called So Chill. You can also get them on Tuesdays and Sundays from Gossau Kebab House, if you happen to be in the area.
All in all a bloomin’ great story, especially if you’re a veggie who’s always gazed enviably at your mates destroying a doner kebab after a night out.
Just be very, very wary of how stringy, and ultimately messy that cheese can be.
Trust me on this – I learned the hard way.
Images via Getty/Natürli