And that’s coming from me, who failed his driving test five times and gave up for the betterment of humanity.
Van Monster, a second hand van dealership, surveyed 2,000 drivers for the study and found that Audi drivers were the least likely to own up to causing damage, parking across two spaces or parking on double yellow lines outside schools.
The complete list of Audi misdemeanours reads:
Other cars were tested but did not feature so prominently in the naughty list, despite their own transgressions mounting up considerably. Drivers of Seat cars were the most prone to road rage, whereas Volvo drivers were deemed the most boring – I mean the safest and most responsible, along with Hyundai and Honda drivers. Volvo drivers were also discovered to be the most likely to own up to their mistakes, however few.
Surprisingly, BMW drivers were found to be mostly innocent of the listed charges. In another study, 67% of Mazda drivers confessed to being complete potty-mouths when venting their frustration, whilst half of surveyed Skoda drivers claimed to prefer using naughty hand gestures to vocal cussing, but Audi drivers were found to be the most likely to bark at other drivers, sweary or otherwise, at a decisive 52%.
Audi drivers were also found to be guilty of tossing waste out of the window – what we in the pedestrian business recognise as getting pelted with mushy bananas and/or used condoms – second only to Nissan. Where I’m from, that sounds about right.
Last year, insurance company Go Compare found similar results for Audi drivers in their own tests, discovering Audi drivers to be second only to BMW in the list of worst drivers. But Mercedes did not escape scrutiny either, coming in a close third.
Go Compare Car Insurance spokesman Matt Oliver said of the findings: ‘While it may be no surprise that higher-powered, luxury cars are the marques of choice for some of the more dangerous drivers on the road, it’s not true of all owners of these makes.’
This is true. Friends of mine have owned Audis in the past and not been so careless with their driving. But if Audi continues to top the charts in reckless motor incidents, it might be worth getting Greta Thunberg to weigh in on the knuckle-rapping …
Images via Audi
Commonly mistaken by strangers as called Matt or Marcus, Max is an awkward Medievalist struggling with ever evolving technology. When not writing for The Hook, he can be found attending self-help classes for his decade-long addiction to KFC. His greatest achievements include getting blocked by Owen Jones on Twitter and completing the Metro quick crossword in just under twenty-seven hours. You can contact Max at firstname.lastname@example.orgFollow