Not just your average Joe, Lord Joseph William Furness – lorded by a mate for his birthday (a decision they now live to regret) – struggles to understand a world in which everyone isn’t as blunt, unemotional and sarcastic as him. His mother calls him pretentious because of his materialistic nature; whilst his father tells him that he can’t live in his own ‘dream world’ forever, but he seems to be doing pretty well so far. He plans to write for The Hook until he sees his name in shining lights – a future promised to him by his year 4 primary school teacher. You can contact Joseph at [email protected]