At this point, I’ll literally try anything – even getting my kit off in front of millions of people – so as I write this, know that this desperate singleton is seriously considering Naked Attraction as an option.
Channel 4’s popular, and somewhat unconventional, dating show Naked Attraction is looking for new contestants to get their kit off for a new season. So, whether you’re coming up a little short between the knees or concealing a deadly weapon, Channel 4 wants to hear from you and member, immediately.
It’s open to any gender, btw – but I was dying to make a penis joke.
I have to say, January feels like a funny time to be advertising this. I don’t know about you lot, but when I jump up and down, I can still feel seven or eight Christmas cheese boards bouncing right along with me.
Talent scouts are on the hunt for fresh naked talent (18+, obvs) to bare all in front of potential lovers for Season 6 of Naked Attraction. The application form reads:
“Are you looking for love?
“Do you fancy testing the power of Naked Attraction?
“In this daring dating series potential couples are able to see each other in their naked glory from the very off, and producers Studio Lambert are looking for adventurous singletons to take part in any potential future episodes.
“Are you up for…naked dating?
“To register your interest in this dating series please apply here.”
The “entertainment series that bares all in the quest for true love” will once again be hosted by fully-clothed presenter Anna Richardson. The picker will once again whittle down a group of six potential suitors, who are stood naked in a pod, one body part at a time, based on what they find least attractive.
It’s f**king brutal and I’m criminally sensitive. Maybe, I’ll wait for next season, when the January wobble is long gone.
If you do get through to the show, hopeful nudists, I recommend you think twice before playing the game as a certain forensic student recently did. ‘Cause it was f**king cringe.
Earlier this week, Naked Attraction guest Charlie, 21, was accused of lying about his sexual claims on the show, and ended up being compared to “Jay from The Inbetweeners”. And, tbf, I can understand why. Charlie had to choose between six naked ladies on the show. He boasted about being a “BDSM master” in the bedroom and having the largest dong of all of his friends.
Before meeting the contestants, Charlie told Anna Richardson:
“I do a few bits and bobs in the bedroom, I am quite into BDSM.
“I’m the dominant one, I’ve been called ‘master’, ‘sir’, all that kind of business – I love it.”
He also gave FULL evaluations of each one of the contestant’s vagina.
It’s safe to say that Twitter wasn’t a fan of dear Charlie. One viewer tweeted:
“Jay from The Inbetweeners looks like he’s never seen a vagina before, says wow every time he see the naked girls, and expects us to believe he is a BDSM ‘master’. Jog on sunshine #NakedAttraction.”
“Has this guy on #NakedAttraction really just looked at a naked woman said: ‘I feel like she might have a loose vagina’, ERM WHAT? You’ve got to laugh!”
So, yeah, don’t be a Charlie.
Host Anna Richardson recently said of her controversial dating show:
“Naked Attraction is such an important series. It’s not just about being naked, it’s about acceptance, individuality and confidence. It’s brave and it’s out there, and I see that as a very positive thing.”
That, and it’s less of a kick in the balls than the dating app grind.
Images via Channel 4 via Twitter
Having worked in children's media and publishing for almost a decade, Ben is thoroughly excited to now be able to swear in stories and features. He is such a big fan of Disney and Horror films that he started an LGBTQ+ podcast called 'Once Upon A Scream'. His mum listens. You can contact Ben at [email protected] Twitter: @PulsfordBen / Instagram: @thebenmidlerFollow