Cocaine Santa Christmas Jumper Left Walmart Having To Apologise

Alfie PowellAlfie Powell in Funny, News
Published 09.12.19

Cocaine Santa Christmas jumper. Three words you’d definitely expect to hear together and a third that you wouldn’t, stuck in there for good measure.

Superstore chain Walmart were forced to apologise after selling a Christmas jumper that showed Father Christmas himself taking part in some recreational Class A drugs. Christmas, eh?

Ugly Christmas jumpers are all the rage these days, with people champing at the bit to get their hands on the ugliest one possible but come on, a cocaine Santa Christmas jumper? Bit much.

This comes after Walmart attracted a lot of bad publicity, with their adults only “ugly sweater” range not getting the reception they were hoping for.

let it snow cocaine sweater

A number of their jumpers show all sorts of generic wrong-doing, mostly from Santa himself, but the one that was most offensive to a fair amount of people on the internet was the “let it snow” design.

As you may have already guessed, this jumper shows ol’ Father Christmas racking up some lines of white powder on the table before him and looking very excited as he brandishes a straw.

The item description – presumably written by a child who’s seen one of two episodes of Narcos – reads:

Men’s let it snow Ugly Christmas Sweater. We all know how snow works. It’s white, powdery and the best snow comes straight from South America.

That’s bad news for jolly old St. Nick, who lives far away in the North Pole. That’s why Santa really likes to take savor the moment when he gets his hands on some quality, grade A, Colombian snow.

He packs it in perfect lines of his coffee table and then takes a big whiff to smell the high quality aroma of the snow…

There’s more, but it’s littered with mistakes and actually made me sad.

In light of the controversy, Global News reports that the retailer said, via a  spokesperson, that the sweaters ‘do not represent Walmart’s values and blamed a third party seller for why they ended up online.

These sweaters, sold by a third-party seller on Walmart.ca, do not represent Walmart’s values and have no place on our website. We have removed these products from our marketplace. We apologise for any unintended offence this may have caused.”

Bit of a cop-out, isn’t it?

Other examples of naughty Santa Christmas jumper from the Walmart website included one of him being probed by an alien, for some reason…

santa alien probe sweater

One had him sitting on the loo…

santa toilet sweater

In another, he was being whipped by some sort of dominatrix…

santa sexy ugly christmas sweater

Along with him literally cooking his balls on a fireplace…

roast chestnuts on an open fire sweater

All of the models look like people who nearly got a second audition for the first Hunger Games film.

Where can I get the Cocaine Santa Christmas Jumper?

As I understand, that particular jumper was made exclusively for Walmart by the company FUN Wear, so unless someone’s already bought it an instantly wants it out of their house, I’m not sure you’ll be able to do one.

There’s plenty of alternative designs though…

 

 

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