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They’re not cats are they? You know? I got like four hours sleep last night and I have to wake up to this shit. It’s absolutely not acceptable in any shape or form.
Watch it for yourself here:
I’ve not even seen the Lloyd Webber musical or read the T.S. Eliot poems so I have no profound connection to the original source material whatsoever, but when little Jason Derulo cat pokes his little Jason Derulo cat head through some hole in the wall and looks around, I felt slighted.
This film is an affront to god while simultaneously proving he doesn’t exist. That’s how f*cking jarring these horrible horrible cats are.
If I went on Snapchat and some filter made me look like that, I’d think “Hmmm this filter needs work. Not quite there yet.” Maybe I have higher standards that Universal Pictures? I mean I wouldn’t be surprised; they wrote, filmed and edited The Mummy with Tom Cruise and still decided to release it.
Twitter also hates it…
There’s so much wrong with this mess.
Why did they give the cats shapely human forms? Why didn’t they consider giving the cats cat noses? Where did Idris Elba get his coat from and what is it made of? How many levels of management did this go through to get approved? How bad were the concept cats if they settled on these ones? Honestly, has Tom Hooper, the director, ever actually seen a cat?
It seems so me that he just made Moulin Rouge! but used that app that turns people old over it… but some bootleg cat version.
A Jason Derulo cat, man. I can’t deal with him. This is the recent picture history between my girlfriend and me and I think you can tell this trailer has left an impact…
I hate it, but weirdly I don’t want them to change it. I don’t know why, but this film needs to stay the way it is forever and all school children need to be obliged by law to watch it; just so they know that sometimes things don’t make sense and life can go wrong. Teach them young.
Here you go; I made Taylor Swift cat slightly less f*cking awful by giving her a cat’s nose and shortening her weirdly long head…
It’s not perfect, but it’s a start.
This is a fever dream.
Images via Universal
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down. You can contact Alfie at [email protected]
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