Nothing makes sense and the bad guy, in perhaps the most egregious instance of allegory ever, is a tech billionaire called Eli Mills.
Now I’m not Elon Musk’s biggest fan, but I think making him the outright bad guy in a film, ultimately having him eaten by two dinosaurs, is probably a bit much.
He’s a hard man to predict, as sometimes you think he’s doing a good thing for the world, but then he goes and mass-produces flamethrowers and horribly insults a man who dedicated his time to saving a boys’ football team in Thailand.
But now he’s released a rap single on Soundcloud, mourning the loss of Harambe – the Western lowland gorilla who achieved meme-legend status when he was shot and killed in 2016 when a three-year-old boy fell into his enclosure at Cincinnati Zoo. The world is so weird now.
Have a listen and we’ll talk about it below. He posted the link on Twitter…
At first I was wondering why Harambe’s head was superimposed on the Bombay Sapphire logo but it makes sense now: “RIP Harambe, Sipping on some Bombay”. It rhymes.
But rappers don’t drink gin, do they? Least of all a pretty bottom-of-the line-gin. Also Harambe’s a gorilla. He should have said Courvoisier – it rhymes and it’s a brandy. Rappers love brandy.
No, he’s a weird guy, isn’t he? Sort of man who tries to get to Mars in his spare time. An odd man.
Doubling down on the whole ‘the world is really weird now’ sentiment, it honestly feels like some time in the last decade, the old writers for Earth were sacked so they got in a couple of weirdos to take over, like what happened with Community.
Seriously it’s been three years since Harambe’s passing. What’s next? Are The Specials going to re-release their Free Nelson Mandela song?
Images via Getty, Twitter, Universal
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down. You can contact Alfie at [email protected]Follow