I mean, I’m no Gok Wan but these items are shockingly bad. Horrendous in fact. Not even aliens would approve.
When I say I’m not easily surprised these days, you could tell me you had just time travelled back to the year 1503 in a pair of UGG boots and I’d probably just shrug and carry on with my day.
Having said that, denim knickers, crop tops for men, space sunglasses and see through clothes – definitely caught my attention. Who the hell would wear these things?
The first thought that came into my head when I saw this image was what my Nan would say if I went to leave the house in a pair. I’d hope that she’d wave a pack of Jammy Dodgers in my face and whatever other high calorie, delicious snacks she would have piled up in her cupboard, in a plea for me to stay indoors. Something tells me that tactic would work. Thanks Nan, and yes you can burn them.
Now, I’m not sure whether to laugh or be angry at the invention of this Fashion Nova bodysuit. Not only does it falsely advertise the appearance of women’s bodies to excitable festival goers (apparently women don’t have vaginas anymore) but the extremely high cut of it is just damn right awful – definitely not a realistic item to put on an un-photoshopped version of a woman’s body.
It’s also the first time I’ve heard NASA are collaborating with Baywatch?
Yeah, somehow, I’m just not feeling it.
Introducing ASOS’ festival essential, male crop top. Admittedly, this has left me rather lost for words (I know, I can’t believe it either). A part of me wants to reserve all judgment and live a happy, peaceful life, but do you absolutely need this in your wardrobe? Surely you’d save your money and go topless? Just a suggestion.
Listen PrettyLittle Thing, if I was going on holiday to the moon, I don’t think I’d be needing sunglasses any time soon. But I appreciate the ‘just in case’, I imagine the stars are quite bright.
Another gem from ASOS. The re occurring theme here is pointless. Nice colour though.
If you’re at a festival, who would have the time or strength to be holding up wings the entire time? I get it, they’d look cool for a picture, but you do realise you’d be dragging these through mud and human liquids for the rest of the night, right? And to me, that doesn’t scream fairy tale (okay it does, in a literal sense).
My first thought is poor guy. This top looks like it was made from a spare pair of foil curtains. This gives a bad name to other vest tops out there (I’m assuming that’s what it’s meant to be).
Okay PrettyLittle Thing, you’re selling cling film outfits which people are actually buying. That is quite impressive.
If any of your friends turn up to a festival wearing this, you can only assume they really love their job.
These Meggings are probably the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. I mean, I appreciate the fact they’re perfect if gold and silver are your two favourite colours (and if they are, maybe this is something you’re now considering buying, so don’t let me put you off) but for me, it’s a big no. They remind me of chocolate wrappers from a tin of Quality Street.
Sophie Watson is unquestionably best known for her charming humour and always being right. Though she has dreams of becoming a bestselling author of a book she’ll probably never write, it was clear being a journalist was the easier option. When not writing for The Hook, Sophie spends her time thinking about pretty roses, long walks on the beach and any other romantic cliché. You can contact Sophie at [email protected]Follow