My flexitarians friends, this article could be the key to converting you, FYI.
A lot of crazy sh*t gets released by all sorts of companies trying to cash in on Christmas at this time of year – but a pigs and blankets ice cream truly takes the stupidity cake. I don’t care how much you like pigs in blankets – I mean we all do; even the vegan ones are lush – this seems wrong.
This promotional video by Fabio’s Gelato makes we want to gag, but what kind of journalist would I be if I didn’t make others gag, too.
A pigs in blankets ice cream is the newest monstrous creation from Fabio’s Gelato in Hitchin, Hertfordshire. It’s made with a blend of – get ready – bacon, sausage, vanilla ice cream and maple syrup. To top it all off, you can ask for it to be served up in a Yorkshire pudding ’cause aesthetics, hon.
Fabio himself describes his gelato’s festive delicacy as follows:
“Having had bacon on pancakes and chips dunked in milkshake, we were hoping for that spectrum of flavours.
“It’s cold, sweet and creamy with a sweet and salty maple-smoked flavour, and an aftertaste of sausage pigs in blankets.
“It really works – think bacon maple pancakes. Bacon makes anything taste nice, even Brussels sprouts!
“There’s a huge divide before anyone tries it. We hear ‘Yuck’ ‘Oh my god’ and ‘no way’.
“Then when they try it their faces turn – from closed, screwed-up eyes to wide open eyes and a smile.
“Followed by ‘Oh yeah, it does taste like bacon’.
“We were brainstorming Christmas flavour ideas and joking about how far we could take it.
“We then set about making pigs in blankets work.
“Our friends and family all laughed but they are used to our crazy ideas and flavours, and said if anyone can make it work you guys can.”
To be fair to Fabio, at least he’s aware that this is pure lunacy to some; he seems to be going for the shock factor rather than drowning in the disillusion that he can create the next Rocky Road in time for Christmas.
And to be absolutely fair to pigs in blankets ice cream, I’m not the biggest fan of food crossovers; ham and pineapple, cheese and Marmite, bacon and pancakes; these can all f*ck off. So maybe I’m not being completely fair to this unique crossover of pigs and blankets and ice cream.
Nah, f*ck that. I haven’t seen such a monstrous crossover since McFly and Busted announced McBusted was happening.
I’m still offended by it and I’ve felt my breakfast creeping it’s way up my throat since I started writing about it. Thanks a lot, Fabio.
But, if you’ve been miraculously sold by my glowing opinion and fancy making the trip to Fabio’s to have a roast dinner and dessert at the same time, here’s a link to his website. Apparently, his gelato shop boasts over 500 other flavours of ice cream, so I’m kind of here for that, to be fair.
I can still feel my breakfast creeping, FYI.
Having worked in children's media and publishing for almost a decade, Ben is thoroughly excited to now be able to swear in stories and features. He is such a big fan of Disney and Horror films that he started an LGBTQ+ podcast called 'Once Upon A Scream'. His mum listens. You can contact Ben at email@example.com. Twitter: @PulsfordBen / Instagram: @thebenmidlerFollow