Cats are beautiful little a*seholes and and I love them dearly for it.

They’re uncompromisingly themselves – something you can never criticise someone for – and they couldn’t care less about your stupid human needs. They do what they want, when they want, and can’t be convinced otherwise, and they use and manipulate people to get what they want.

They’re evil geniuses when you think about it, and I know cartoons always depict the dog chasing after the cat, but we all know that soppy pooches sh*t themselves when they see a cat, and so they should.


Lomphonten Lomphontan, from Thailand, learned the hard way about how savage some cats can be, when he decided to set up a camera in his house to keep an eye on his tabby cat Achi when he was at work.


That alone is problematic because I’d do no work and constantly watch my cat get up to stuff.

After reviewing the footage, though, Lomphonten discovered his cat was doing something sinister as he slept – murder him, basically.


Speaking to The Dodo, Lomphonten found that, after he’s dozed off, Achi kicks into action, climbing atop his chest while confirming with a paw that he’s indeed asleep.

Then he plops his body directly on Lomphonten’s face, thus suffocating him – somewhat affectionately – while trying to take him out of the game.




“I sat and watched [the footage] one night,” Lomphonten told The Dodo. “It was very funny.”

“I feel very much in love with him that he loves me like this,” Lomphonten said.


Despite Achi diabolical behaviour, Lomphonten has no plans to dissuade Achi from making himself as comfortable as he wishes at night, knowing that the cat’s desire to be as close to him as possible is really just a reflection of what’s in his heart.


You see, this is exactly what I look for in a companion; unpredictable to the point where they might just kill you in your sleep.

I think that’s why my girlfriend and I get on so well – I like an element of risk and danger in relationships. Makes it exciting.

Images via Twitter