I suppose if there was anyone that I’d absolutely want to look like, it would be either Jude Law or Donald Glover. For obvious reasons, the latter is ruled out and as much as I’d like to look like Jude Law, it would be less special given that he’s already a person who looks like himself.
So when I heard that a guy spent £33,000 on looking like ex-footballer and current-person David Beckham – and yet still looks less like him than my stupid Hugh Grant-ish self does – I must say I was pretty shocked.
Jack Johnson, 22, had no plans of slowing down his transformation, however was struck by some dangerously bad luck when his house went up in flames.
Jack was cooking potato waffles in a chip pan when he fell asleep. The pan caught fire and he woke up with his kitchen in flames. He proceeded to throw a duvet over the fire but forgot that there was a can of deodorant within. The can promptly exploded and knocked Jack unconscious.
“It exploded. It threw me back onto the bannister. When I got out of the flat I fell unconscious and that’s when I woke up from a coma 24 hours later at Queen’s Medical Centre.
I have lost everything. I am in a lot of debt anyway, but now I am in more debt because I did not have insurance. It has destroyed me.”
Jack’s all better now – physically – but is struggling for money, as all of his possessions were lost in the fire and he had no insurance. There’s a cautionary tale for everyone.
You’d think that this would make him reconsider his life-strategy for at least a small while, but no, he’s more determined to look like Beckham than ever.
Currently, he’s sleeping on friends’ and family’s sofas, but he said:
“I will not stop until I’m dead. I do not look like David now so even if someone gave me £1m I still wouldn’t look like him but I will keep trying.
It has made me more determined to reach my goal because I nearly died.“
Next up, Jack wants to have his bone-structure sorted out and three ribs removed… not for the reason you’re thinking; he wants to wear the same waistcoats as the football legend.
He’s struggling for cash and his own mother is trying to turn him off the idea, but Jack is hellbent on getting this done…
“I am blacklisted everywhere [for credit].
I will carry on until I know I look like him. If I don’t listen to my own mum, when she tells me to stop, I am not going to listen to everyone else.
I have got no problem with my appearance but I just want to be a David Beckham lookalike, the first person in Britain to look exactly like a celebrity through work being done.“
I’m treading on eggshells here, but aren’t a lot of Beckham’s looks down to him being an ex-footballer, and therefore having the physique of an athlete? That’s one of the many reasons I don’t look like David Beckham but it seems like the cheapest thing to emulate.
Similarly, Jack’s not even close with the Beckham tattoos and his hair’s way off. All of these things are quite easily remedied without hours of costly surgery…
David Beckham has never had his eyebrows like that.
Images via ITV, Instagram
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down. You can contact Alfie at email@example.comFollow