Gwyneth Paltrow Just Sold Out Of Candles That Smell Like Her Vagina

Ben PulsfordBen Pulsford in Uncategorised
Published 11.01.20
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Actress Gwyneth Paltrow just sold out of scented candles that smell like her vagina

I mean, not quite, but you’re still right to raise an eyebrow.

SO MANY Gwyneth Paltrow fans have purchased a scented candle that smells like the Oscar winner’s vagina, that her online shop has now completely sold out of the product.

Bear with me on this one; this is weird, even for Social Laughs.

The 47-year-old American actress was selling a, well, intimately-scented candle for $75 (£57) on the website for her lifestyle brand, Goop. Side note: £57 is a disgusting price for a f**king candle – vagina-smelling or not.

There’s no twist or trick to this candle; it’s just a scented candle that smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina.

The scent is described as “funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected.” Just an observation, but in my 30 years, I have never described something as being “funny”, unless said object smelled bad, but okay.

What’s it called, you ask? I thought I’d save the best part till last.

The unique candle is called ‘THIS SMELLS LIKE MY VAGINA’.

Umm.

The official product description reads:

“With a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent, this candle is made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed that puts us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.”

I’m fairly certain no one’s genitals have ever smelled like that, but then again, I’ve never met Gwyneth Paltrow.

It turns out fans shouldn’t take the product name so literally (someone needs to tell the internet, and fast!) – sorry, if you’ve already spent on £57 on it. The online description explains how the candle got its unique name:

“This candle started as a joke between perfumer Douglas Little and GP — the two were working on a fragrance, and she blurted out, “Uhhh..this smells like a vagina”—but evolved into a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent.

“That turned out to be perfect as a candle—we did a test run at an In goop Health, and it sold out within hours.

“It’s a blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed that puts us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.”

If you’re absolutely devo’d that Gwyneth’s outrageously expensive vagina-scented candle has sold out, fret not; you can add yourself to a waiting list online, if you’re absolutely desperate for a sniff of THIS SMELLS LIKE VAGINA.

To each their own, I guess.

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