Okay, I’ll rip the plaster off straight away.
I’m not the biggest fan of Harry Potter. I’ve read the books, I’ve watched the films, but if I’m being honest, I was always more of a Buffy boy.
Okay, now I’ll rip the other plaster off.
I am, however – and always have been – the biggest fan of Christmas tat. If I had the money and wasn’t chronically lazy, this would one hundred percent be my house every year.
Tinsel. Dancing Santas. Plastic reindeer. Snow globes. Fake snow. Ghastly Christmas jumpers that need charging overnight. I’m out and proud about it all. I love it. And Poundland loves me.
I might not be the biggest Harry Potter fan, but this Hogwarts tree topper seriously ticks my tacky boxes (that sounds a bit dirty, doesn’t it?) and then some.
Just look at it.
Hallmark describes Harry Potter™ Collection Hogwarts™ Castle Musical Tree Topper With Light on their website, where it’s priced at $119.99 (f*ck!).
“This Christmas tree topper that features the wondrous castle. Plug it into the included power adapter for constant illumination, then press the button—either on the included Hogwarts crest remote control or on the back of the tree topper—to start a sound and light show scene featuring music from ‘Hedwig’s Theme’.”
Keenos can add three ‘Harry Potter Storytellers’ ornaments – of Harry, Ron and Hermione – to complete their festive scene… for $29.99 each.
Side note, look how much ‘Wingardium Levio–sass” Hermione is serving? I’m living for it.
We recently reported that LEGO were releasing a Harry Potter-themed advent calendar.
With 24 doors to open, it features more than 300 pieces, including all your favourite characters as minifigures dressed up in Christmas outfits.
The seven minifigures include Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Albus Dumbledore, Professor Flitwick and the Hogwarts architect. Even a little Hedwig figure is hiding behind one of the doors. Here’s hoping Dumbledore will be at number 10 (politics is too crazy right now, I couldn’t resist)!
You’ll also find models of iconic Hogwarts features such as a mini Hogwarts Express, a buildable fireplace filled with decorations, the Grand Hall table with accessories, and a statue with all four house crests.
Well, it’s safe to say that JK Rowling isn’t shopping at Poundland.
Personally, this all far too pricy to make my annual tat list. I’ll be here if you need me.
Images via Amazon
Having worked in children's media and publishing for almost a decade, Ben is thoroughly excited to now be able to swear in stories and features. He is such a big fan of Disney and Horror films that he started an LGBTQ+ podcast called 'Once Upon A Scream'. His mum listens. You can contact Ben at email@example.com. Twitter: @PulsfordBen / Instagram: @thebenmidlerFollow