Obviously that’s never happened to me, because I’m great. But it’s definitely happening to one of my “friends”, Mike. He’s such a tool and you can tell that all of my friendship group hates him.
From these screenshots, for example, you can see that no-one wants to talk to Mike. He’s the loser of the group, and if you’re anything like him, then you are too.
Don’t be like that idiot, Mike. Everyone’s joking about him. Not with him…
It’s actually hilarious that Mike’s only been with one girl. He met her when they were really young and fell in love – childhood sweethearts and all that – but he’s such a loser. “Love”. Not for me, buddy. Not for Alfie.
Seriously, you DO NOT want to look like Mike in this scenario. Egg on his face, if you know what I mean?
Just look at Mike here. He knows that everyone’s busy and yet he’s still all “ooooohhh let’s go to the pub. I’m cool. Love me, love me“.
Seriously, if you’re like that and none of your friends are available whenever you want to go out, you’re the loser, Don’t be like Mike here.
Mike’s not even in this picture, he’s so lame that they obviously didn’t invite him. Honestly, they just don’t want to be seen with him, I’m telling you.
Don’t be like Mike, it’s just sad to see, to be honest. If you see that your friends are going out without you, it’s further proof that they don’t like or respect you… like Mike.
I must have been busy that day. They make sure to know my schedule and know not to bother me when I’m out, you know?
See how I tell Mike that I really think he’s just an awful kind of guy? If you’re the loser of the group, you’ll get stuff like that.
Exactly like that.
Hold on a second… none of them are saying bad things about Mike. I say a bad thing and then they all jump to his defence.
Odd, don’t you think? Mike’s the loser. Why would they stick up for that scumbag weirdo?
When did the magic end, lads? We were all really great friends and then Mike turned up when we were 13 and messed with the dynamic. You can’t blame me for losing my cool when someone like that butts in and tries to show me up with “humour”, “personality”, and “charisma” can you?
Man he’s a dick.
Mike’s great. He’s such a stand up guy. He’s stood by me through thick and thin and showed me kindness when I was abhorrent to him. I don’t deserve a friend like Mike. I’m so, so sorry, everyone.
Ha! What a fucking loser. He can’t bear a second alone, can he? God I hate that guy!
Images via Getty
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down.Follow