It Turns Out You’ve Been Eating Pineapple Wrong This Whole Time

Alfie PowellAlfie Powell in News, Weird, World
Published 08.03.19
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I want to say two years ago, I was really invested in finding out what the differences between satsumas, tangerines, mandarins and clementines was.

This lead to me, at work, researching the matter fastidiously until Mike, my boss, walked up behind me and went, “Is that work?”

I panicked, said “yep” and now this exists…

That’s life and yeah, you’re welcome.

I guess that’s my legacy now. Just helping people learn more about fruit.

I’ve got more. Did you know, for instance, that you’ve been eating pineapples wrong your entire life? Yeah it turns out that you’re supposed to serve them on a dough base, topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella with a ham garnish. Who knew?!

Conversely, you’re “apparently” supposed to eat them like little fruit sticks. It’s only now that I’ve started writing it up that I’ve realised how hard this is to explain.

Watch the video…

Seemingly the only thing of worth to ever come from TikTok, Dillon Roberts posted the video to the lip-syncing (???) app where it was picked up by Twitter user Lewis McCluskey.

The general vibe on Twitter is people responding with:


I’m paraphrasing there.

I’d argue though that as long as no-one gets injured and you do actually end up consuming the fruit, there is no actual “wrong” way of eating a pineapple.

But listen: I wasn’t born yesterday and it’s pretty transparent why lots of young men are so interested in eating pineapple.

Reprobates, the lot of them.

If you’re wondering, I eat my pineapple with a single chopstick and a plucky attitude.

Images via TikTok, Getty