Similar to how liking dogs and pizza isn’t a personality, pink absolutely isn’t a flavour. However, this doesn’t stop nine out of ten people on Tinder banging on about how they love the signature dish of a whole country and an animal famously called “mans’ best friend” as if it’s somehow unique.
Similarly, every single alcohol company has a brand new pink offering, because that’s a thing now.
I’m not saying it’s bad – this drink actually sounds nice – and similarly, liking pizza and dogs isn’t bad… I suppose it just irrationally bothers me that everybody’s banging that bloody drum now.
Anyway, enough bitching. To the point, I go…
From the 20th of May, you’ll be able to waltz into you’re local Tesco and purchase a bottle of what Malibu have branded Strawberry Spritz.
Just under the name, you can see that the bottle reads “Rum spritz with strawberry & coconut flavour,” which sounds alright, doesn’t it?
It sounds like one of those cans of fizzy Innocent drinks that you can get, but boozy. Making things boozy is a surefire way to increase quality exponentially.
Enjoyed over ice, the drink is described as “bursting with the taste of strawberry and a drop of coconut,” which is essentially what the bottle says but with nicer syntax. Word count, people.
Strawberry Spritz will set you back £9.50 for a 75cl at Tesco, which is pretty reasonable. I expect to see many bottles of this drunk in Victoria Park this summer.
With that said, the Spritz comes in at 11% alcohol content, which is less than wine but more than beer. It’ll be hard adjusting to that kind of proof. I’ll either get too drunk too quick, or not at all drunk but very bloated.
Only time will tell.
Images via Malibu
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down.Follow