That’s the beauty of this job; one day you’re deciphering Game Of Thrones trailers and getting hyped about The Avengers and the next you’re talking about blokes pretending to be dogs.
Variety really is the spice of life.
Personally, I’ve never really contemplated what life would be like as a dog, but now I have I reckon it’d be pretty sweet; loads of walkies, belly rubs and endless hours chasing balls. Dogs are universally loved too, so you’d never be on your own for too long, and they don’t even have to go to work.
Nope, their sole responsibility is on being a good doggo – and I quite like the sound of that.
And now thanks to the likes of Kaz James – who is an actual ‘human pup’ – there’s finally an example of easy it is for ordinary folk like me to make the transition.
The 37 year-old says he always felt ‘weird’ and unable to relate to others (me too), claiming he’s felt like a dog since childhood. After hearing about ‘human pup’s online’ and meeting other like-minded pooches, he now regularly wears a dog mask, eats his meals out of a dog bowl, and greets his friends by barking at them.
Imagine if you had a mate like that who suddenly started identifying as a dog. Everyone’s in the pub and he turns up like that.
‘F**k me, how many has Liam had tonight?!
The store manager has made the transition full time and can often be found flaunting his furry side in customised rubber outfits, masks, dog leads, harnesses and even a bespoke £2,000 ($2,600) fur suit – which seems excessive but I guess he’s only got to buy one.
However, it was the ‘pup play community’ and open-minded friends that allowed him to fully embrace his doggy ways.
Kaz, from Salford, Greater Manchester, said:
“I didn’t ever feel like a human, I always felt like a dog that was really out of place. I never really had a name for it, being a pup wasn’t a thing I knew about. When I met other people like me I felt I could be myself.
“I was known by my friends for grabbing hold of the collar of their shirt in my teeth and biting or licking them, very canine-type behaviours. It was always how I was. The first time I heard the term of being a pup was through a pup I met online, he was the first person I met who was like me.
“It was a liberating moment knowing there were other people like me, having felt properly weird for the longest time. It quite often felt like when I was around other people there was something that was not right with them.”
“I realised that my behaviours were quite dog-like in childhood, probably from the age of six. No-one ever talked about it, it was never mentioned. My parents took early retirement and we moved to a farm in Norfolk.
“I was incredibly nervous when I first started talking to people online. I was living with my parents and I would sneak downstairs at three in the morning to get on the internet to look for this stuff.
“I was worried that If I ever spoke to anyone about it, they would be like ‘you’re a nut job’.”
Now as a ‘full-time orange, brown and camo K9’ Kaz regularly barks at friends, carries things around in his mouth and snacks on dog biscuits.
All the usual canine stuff – although does he have to shop for everything himself? Or does he tie himself to a pole outside Tesco and get someone to go in for him? If he’s really doing this properly it should be the latter.
Kaz is also the co-founder of Kennel Klub, and has authored authored a book called ‘How to train a human pup’.
While he will only wear ‘mild’ clothes to work – for example a t-shirt with the word ‘pup’ on the front – he turns into his true, dog self at home.
“My whole lifestyle is about being a pup.
“I go about and live my day-to-day life relatively normally, that includes things like putting collars on and barking at people I know in the street. If I see pups out in the Village I will bark at them, I get funny reactions from passersby all the time.”
“I feel a sense of peace being a human pup. Little things make me feel happy like eating my dinner out of a bowl using a knife and fork.
“I don’t eat at people’s tables when I go to friends’ houses. I can be a normal person in a restaurant, I’m trained and can deal with humans, but I don’t like it, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
“I don’t eat dog food, I eat regular food like a normal person but I do eat Bonios they’re quite nice. There are loads of dog treats you can get that are human friendly which are actually quite good for you.”
And to anyone outside of the pup community who criticise him, he says the movement is about “romance” and reconnecting with childhood fun.
“For me being a human pup is an all-encompassing thing”, he added.
That’s a lot of information to process in one go: on the one hand I think this man has serious, serious issues and unfortunately the advent of the internet has normalised this kind of behaviour, and on the other hand I’m not at all surprised by people identifying as ‘trans-species.’
But also, what a fantastic idea it is to be a dog. They’re so obviously better than humans that maybe this is just the next step in humanity’s evolution.
Homo Erectus, Neanderthal man, Homo Sapiens, DOG.
All this time we’ve been worried about A.I usurping us at the top of the food chain when really the main threat to humanity is man’s so-called ‘best friend.’
Maybe Kaz is to dogs what Sonny was to humanoids in I, Robot. Horrifying.
Images Kennedy News Media
Charismatic, witty, charming, engaging - four things Joshua Rogers will never be. Thankfully, he’s a semi-competent writer, who, after graduating university with two mostly pointless degrees, joined The Hook two years ago. Since then, he has honed his writing skills over the course of various sex related articles. Now, at the tender age of 26, he’s finally finished experimenting with (on) himself.