Martin Scorsese’s ‘The Irishman’ Already Has 100% On Rotten Tomatoes

Alfie PowellAlfie Powell in Entertainment, Film
Published 30.09.19
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Somehow, despite not being out yet, Martin Scorsese’s The Irishman – starring Robert De Niro and Al Pacino – has already got 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Honestly the more I hear about Rotten Tomatoes, the less I like it.

It absolutely doesn’t make sense, the people behind the site clearly have an agenda and weirdos who haven’t even seen the things they’re reviewing yet decide to log on and rate certain properties either 100% or zero.

Remember when, before it even came out, people were rating Captain Marvel as low as they possibly could because Brie Larson’s a disgusting woman who has the audacity not to crack a smile when fighting world-ending forces? I do. How about now, as they rate the upcoming Joker 100% despite not knowing anything about it because it’s as close as they’ll get to a Fight Club sequel. You don’t even need to remember that; just look.

Stupid site.

captain marvel rotten tomatoes

With all of that in mind, The Irishman, the dangerously hyped Netflix original film, directed by Martin Scorsese and starring Robert De Niro and Al Pacino, has already amassed a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

You know, the film that comes out in 58 days. Apparently it can contend with the best films ever made. The 209-minute film, of which we’ve collectively seen around 3 minutes of. Best film ever.

Now obviously The Irishman has been seen by several reviewers who were invited to press screening (I was going to say that I was livid to not be one of them, but I don’t check my emails, so who knows? Maybe I was. Probably not though) and yeah, they mostly love the film.

The general vibe is that it’s classic Scorsese gold, even though I’d argue that he hasn’t actually done much good since the turn of the century. I liked him voicing the puffer fish in Shark TaleThe Departed was good when it wasn’t full of people saying they were Irish and gratuitous cameos from literal rats, The Wolf of Wall Street was nowhere near good enough to deserve being that long and no-one saw Silence.

Meanwhile, De Niro and Pacino are back at their best! Boy, they don’t make ’em like they used to, eh? Remember when actors were good? Not like these trained divas we get now! Back in the day an actor would turn up on set drunk and four hours late, read the lines on the script in front of them in their own voice, try not to look at the camera and if they wanted to prove they were acting, they’d then shout a bit and their stiff, Brylcreemed fringe would flop down their forehead. Brilliant!

Even better, we don’t even need to watch the new, actually trained actors anymore since using silly amounts of money, we can de-age the old actors who do cool things like say vaccinations give children autism!

the irishman reviews

Anyway, I’m wrong, since New York Film Festival director Kent Jones said:

It’s the work of masters, made with a command of the art of cinema that I’ve seen very rarely in my lifetime, and it plays out at a level of subtlety and human intimacy that truly stunned me.

Esquire added that The Irishman:

isn’t just any old mob movie or Goodfellas-lite, but rather a haunting, poignant, twilight-of-the-gods drama tinged with regret, driven by monumental ambition, and smothered in the red sauce of violence.”

Look, I’m sure it is good and I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, I am going to watch this film and probably enjoy it. I just resent how this hype is clearly just people jumping on the bandwagon since it’s a cardinal sin of cinema to dislike anything that has either of Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro or Al Pacino involved.

I’d rather wait until I’ve seen it to make my mind up; something that a lot of people don’t bother with anymore.

Images via Netflix

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