Set within a crazy house, the film follows Don Koch, played by ex-wrestler and MMA fighter CM Punk, (Phillip Brooks), as he tries to renovate an old Victorian house that he just bought.
The house isn’t at all happy about being bashed about though, and begins to fight back, with it turning out to be haunted and in possession of a pretty raucous history.
Even weirder, the film was written by Travis Stevens about the very house that features in the film, as it’s allegedly haunted in real life.
Making changes to his home, Don has to contend with unwanted visitors, rotting walls, bursting pipes and perhaps most insane, semen leaking from said pipes every time he tries to make a change.
Why does the house cum? Apparently it used to be a brothel, so it’s probably got a surplus of the liquid.
Needless to say it got a lot of press on Twitter…
Look, I’ve probably focused too much on the cum. There is an official plot synopsis that doesn’t even mention that element of the film. Quite boringly, it goes like this:
“Don Koch tries to renovate a rundown mansion with a sordid history for his growing family, only to learn that the house has other plans.”
Say the house cums, you coward.
Make this the IMDb description, please, anyone who has an account…
Images via IMDb, Queensbury Pictures
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down. You can contact Alfie at [email protected]Follow