That’s all this next couple had to do.
Not that difficult, right?
But no, instead of uttering that utterly brilliant phrase, one couple instead decided to thank the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI) for saving their child’s life by slapping them with a pathetic £7 bill for a lilo they left behind.
They should just knock it off their tab. There you go – just give us the £6,993 and we’ll call it quits.
The young girl in question had drifted out to sea on the inflatable just off the coast of Porthleven, in Cornwall, which prompted the RNLI’s swift response.
Shortly after receiving the call, the £7,000 rescue mission was launched to save her, with the crew jumping into the water to pull her to safety, leaving the lilo behind.
President of the RNLI branch, Mike Carter told Bristol Live:
“A family visiting Porthleven purchased a lilo from a local shop and went to the beach.
“There was an off-shore wind and the parents immediately experienced their child waving goodbye as the lilo went further and further out.
“The coastguard scrambled the SAR helicopter which was soon on scene.
“The diver jumped from the the helicopter and saved the child. He instantly put a knife through the lilo to save any further drifting and they were both winched to safety.”
After receiving the invoice, Mike said the rescuer replied saying they would happily pay – if the family paid for the cost of launching the helicopter.
He said: “Two weeks later the commanding officer (CO) of 771 received a request to pay an invoice for £7 the cost of the lilo.
“The CO wrote replying: ‘I will be happy to pay your invoice on receipt of payment for the helicopter rescue £7,000.’ No response was received.”
Mr Carter reminded residents that inflatables often pose a danger to people’s safety and that only last week the Maritime and Coastguard Agency posted a similar warning.
They said: “Inflatable unicorns, watermelons, dinosaurs, you name it, we’ve seen it.
“Keep your floating friends for the pool. They may pose well for Insta, but they can also pose a danger when up against strong currents and wind, sweeping you out to sea.
“Remember, supervise kids and call #999Coastguard if you spot an inflatable drifting at sea or yours gets blown away.”
7 quid. 7 effing quid.
Could you be arsed chasing someone up for seven quid? My mates owe me loads of money – and as far as I’m aware none of them have saved me child’s life – but you don’t see me sending out ridiculous bills.
So yeah, lilos, be careful – they’ll get you.
But also, check out this INCREDIBLE SAUSAGE DOG LILO!
I love a happy ending.
Images via Getty
Charismatic, witty, charming, engaging - four things Joshua Rogers will never be. Thankfully, he’s a semi-competent writer, who, after graduating university with two mostly pointless degrees, joined The Hook two years ago. He subsequently honed his writing skills over the course of several sex-related articles, bringing a very public shame to his family's good name.