People Are Calling Bear Grylls A “’70s Pornstar” Because Of His New Moustache

Ben PulsfordBen Pulsford in Entertainment, Funny, News, TV, UK, Weird
Published 22.11.19
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Bear Grylls has completely thrown the internet with his new “’70s pornstar moustache”

I mean it’s a look.

‘Tache.

Sorry, I’m struggling with how to start this story. I just can’t stop staring at it.

People are losing it over Bear Grylls’ handlebar moustache

When he drank reindeer blood, we shrugged it off. When he took the guts out of a camel and then climbed inside, we excused it. When he drank his own urine out of a snake, we glossed over it. But now that Bear Grylls has gone on national television sporting the most horrendous of moustache styles – the handlebar moustache – we’ve lost it.

Bear Grylls

The television presenter, adventurer and occasional p*ss drinker appeared on ITV’s Good Morning Britain this morning (Friday 22nd November) to discuss his latest work with Tusk, an African wildlife conservation charity. So… is he trying to give himself tusks? It’s a PR stunt; it’s got to be.

“Bear Grylls has got a ’70s pornstar moustache”

Unfortunately, as soon as Grylls began speaking about this recent charity work with Tusk on Good Morning Britain, unfortunately, the internet became solely fixated on the adventurer’s unique ‘tache – and why; why was a big question, too. I mean, it is just about the worst thing a man could choose to do with his facial hair. I’m all for a beard and well cared-for moustache – but the handlebar moustache is one of those looks everybody should’ve left in ’70s – on some sticky porn set floor.

Within minutes, social media users were comparing Grylls’ facial hair to that of a “’70s pornstar”. And you just can’t blame them, can you?

One Twitter user wrote:

“So Bear Grylls has got a 70s pornstar moustache to go with his 70s pornstar name #GoodMorningBritain”.

Another tweeted:

“Bear Grylls, moustache you a question. #GMB”. That one tickled me – I’m sure Bear knows that feeling.

You get the idea.

“I always found myself apologising before I’ve even said a word!” 

THANKFULLY, Grylls is fully aware of his less-than-desirable Ron Jeremy-esque exterior and assured us all that it is not a permanent fixture. He joked:

“I always found myself apologising before I’ve even said a word!” 

It turns out, Grylls grew a beard during a recent stint in the jungle, but hat to trim it ahead of a Marines dinner he was scheduled to attend. Grylls apparently didn’t feel comfortable rocking up with a huge beard, so shaved it down to a handlebar moustache (yeah, ’cause that’s much better) – despite his wife’s disapproval. 

“I thought it’s Movember and why not?”

He said: “I start our new Netflix series again next week, so I’m gonna get rid of it for that – but I thought, it’s Movember and why not?

“This is a new thing and as my family say, ‘a temporary thing'”.

Okay, maybe we’ll let you off, you silly ol’ Bear. 

Images via Good Morning Britain (ITV) and Getty

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