Ricky Gervais hosted the 77th Golden Globe awards last night, which took place in the Beverly Hills Hilton in Hollywood.
The Office creator has made a name for himself over the years of roasting Hollywood’s elite at the ceremony, with names such as Caitlyn Jenner and Mel Gibson in the firing line.
Yesterday was his fifth time presenting the awards, and it’s fair to say he cranked the brutality up to eleven. Whoever hired him for the job must be bricking getting fired.
Ricky’s best insults
“I came here in a limo tonight and the licence plate was made by Felicity Huffman.”
“Martin Scorsese said the Marvel films remind him of theme parks. I don’t know what he’s doing hanging around theme parks – he’s not big enough to go on the rides.”
“Knives Out has three nominations tonight. See what can happen when you don’t dress people up as Cats?”
“We were going to do an In Memoriam section, but when I saw the list of people who had died this year, it wasn’t diverse enough. It was mostly white people. And I thought, ‘No, not on my watch.'”
“In a moment we’re going to see a short clip from The Irishman. It’s 88 minutes long.”
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood was nearly three hours long. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere, and by the end his date was too old for him.”
“Lots of big celebrities here tonight. Legends. Icons. On the same table, there’s Al Pacino, Robert De Niro and Baby Yoda. Oh no, that’s Joe Pesci, sorry.”
“Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars for some offensive tweets. Luckily for me, the Hollywood Foreign Press can barely speak English and they’ve no idea what Twitter is, so I got offered this gig by fax.”
On Harvey Weinstein, Ricky said: “Our next presenter starred in Netflix’s Bird Box, a movie where people survive by acting like they don’t see a thing. Sort of like working for Harvey Weinstein.”
On Hollywood hypocrisy, he said: “Apple roared into the TV game with The Morning Show, a superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing – made by a company that runs sweatshops in China.
Then he went in on just about everyone…
“You say you’re woke, but the companies you work for, I mean, unbelievable: Apple, Amazon, Disney.
“If ISIS started a streaming service, you’d call your agent, wouldn’t you?
“So if you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech, right?
“You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world.
“Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.”
On James Corden, star of box office flop Cats, he said: “The world got to see James Corden as a fat pussy. He was also in the movie Cats, but no one saw that.”
And a rather shocking joke about Dame Judi Dench came next, with Ricky saying: “Dame Judi Dench defended the film, saying it was the role she was born to play.
“Because she … I can’t do this next joke.
“Because she loves nothing better than plonking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg, and licking her m***e.”
You can check out his full monologue here:
He’s got to do it next year now, hasn’t he?
Images via Getty