Not All I Want For Christmas Is You, though, right? That’s more of a year-round club anthem these days, surely?
They are the f*cking best and I live for most of them (just not Fairytale Of New York – don’t get me started), but generally there’s a time and a place for them. And that’s Christmas time. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to start whacking out a bit of Last Christmas and It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year from 1st December. It just feels right.
F*ck it, give me some of Bieber’s Mistletoe, too – as long as it’s December, hon. I’m fine seeing Christmas cr*p everywhere in November, but my ears just don’t agree with hearing it before that (I want to say my Mum once said it was bad luck, too).
I was actually in a coffee shop this morning when I clocked that a piano rendition of White Christmas was playing. I immediately plugged the headphones in (arms flailing to ensure the manager took note) and stuck on some RuPaul – and no, not her Christmas album (which is sensational, FYI).
Metro recently reported that a shop called York Gin in York has opted to ban modern-day Christmas songs all together this year, for the sake of staff morale. Store director Emma Godivala has said that she doesn’t want to force her staff (pictured below) to listen to cheesy Christmas music endlessly for eight hours a day while working on her shop floor.
I know a fair few people who work in retail and can confirm that for many retail assistants, this is a real, torturous problem.
Godivala told Metro:
“We do love Christmas, but we want our gin shop to be a cheese-free zone.
“We’ve tested lots of songs to see which sound okay and which sound weird. And there’s a cut-off in the 1960s. Anything after that has been banned.
“Our lovely team are happy with the decision – they say lots of other shop staff are already going stir crazy with the same Christmas hits being played on a loop.
‘That said, if Mariah appeared in the shop, we might just overturn the ban for a while and play ‘All I Want For Christmas’ Is You.”
OMG, see, I told you.
The shop’s decision means that York Gin Christmas shoppers are more likely to hear festive hits from the likes of Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald, rather than Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber and Beyonce, wile perusing the shelves.
I might actually have to venture to this shop; some oldies and a spot of gin sounds divine rn.
And despite banning decades of festive hits from their shop, staff have promised customers that their unique Christmas playlist will be vast and varied this year, so they’re unlikely to hear the same thing twice. Shop manager Sandie Tanner-Smith told Metro:
“We’re confident we’ll have the happiest staff and customers around. Our playlist is big enough to make sure no-one hears the same Christmas song more than twice in a week.”
If you’re still miffed about my Fairytale Of New York comment btw, you should know that my favourite Christmas song is My Only Wish (This Year) by Britney Spears. It’s very possible we just have very different tastes.
Images via Getty and York Gin
Having worked in children's media and publishing for almost a decade, Ben is thoroughly excited to now be able to swear in stories and features. He is such a big fan of Disney and Horror films that he started an LGBTQ+ podcast called 'Once Upon A Scream'. His mum listens. You can contact Ben at [email protected] Twitter: @PulsfordBen / Instagram: @thebenmidlerFollow