The correct answer is obviously a house cat that lives with a rich family. Even if you don’t like cats, you can’t deny that laying around all day, finding spots of sun shining through the windows of the house and either getting fed or finding food when you’re hungry is the life you want to live.
That was until pigeons wearing cowboy hats became an option.
At first, the hat-wearing pigeons were a beacon of hope; people were growing rather fond of the dapper birds, but when it occurred to them that they might not actually want to wear the hats and worse, not be able to get them off, then there were qualms.
As the started appearing in Las Vegas, animal rights activists began to worry that the hats had been glued on the pigeons which, for obvious reasons, is far from ideal. The potentially harmful hats could be causing the wild birds distress and that’s when Lofty Hopes founder Mariah Hillman got involved.
She told Fox News:
“At first, I was like, oh my god that’s cute! Then, I was like, wait a minute – how did they get those hats on there?
“Did they glue them? And what does that mean for them? Is it something that’s going to impede their flight or attract predators?”
“We drove up and down here yesterday for a good two hours just handing out business cards to any location where I saw pigeons and people. If you see these birds, just feed them until I get here. I’m only three miles away and I’ll come trap them.”
Once she gets her hands on the pigeons, then what? Does she use white spirits to dissolve the glue? Maybe she covers the stetsons with more fashionable hats; the little ones you get on bottles of Innocent Smoothies, perhaps?
Hilariously, there was a rodeo in town, but the people behind that particular event have denied any connection to the hatted birds. Meanwhile, the police say that pigeons in hats aren’t an issue of their’s at the present.
More to follow, I’m sure.
Images via FoxNews, Twitter
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down. You can contact Alfie at email@example.comFollow