Spontaneous Sex - How To Keep The Flame Of Love Burning Forever
The desire for spontaneous sex is very prevalent. The concept of being sexual with your spouse as soon as the mood strikes can make you feel like you're both on the same page and passionate about each other.
The actuality of spontaneous sex, however, is more difficult due to the stresses of daily life and the complexity of libidos.
Perhaps you're taking the initiative, but your spouse never seems to be in the mood. Perhaps sex has become a chore that you schedule in between appointments and you'd like to liven things up.
Are you the one who is always the one who proposes sex and is always the one who is turned down?
Aside from interpersonal issues, a simple communication stumbling block could be obstructing your progress.
An key facet to spontaneous sex is knowing your partner’s desires and preferences so when you do ask, they are more likely to say yes.
If you float the proposal every morning and are rebuffed, it's possible that your partner isn't sexually accessible in the mornings.
It's not that they don't want to have sex; it's just that you're approaching them at the incorrect time.
There is no one-size-fits-all moment or location to inquire, so it's crucial to have a talk with them about it.
On the other side, if you're constantly rejecting your lover, explain why. Brianna explains it like way: "Talking to your partner about what you need to get stimulated takes the guesswork out of it.
It also ensures that both parties have a good time when having sex. If you find it difficult to communicate with your partner during sex, having a more in-depth discussion about your preferences outside of the bedroom may be beneficial."
Flirting can also be very effective. This can manifest itself in a variety of ways depending on the relationship.
Anything from a flirty text to having dinner ready for them when they get home can put them in a friendly mood, and can open them up to spontaneous sex.
"Flirting is an excellent method to feel closer to someone. Even when you're doing mundane things, find methods to remain playful.
You might listen to music while cooking and find opportunities to dance together."
Understanding the five love languages will help you better understand your partner's requirements and libidos.
Knowing what will make your partner feel safe, loved, and joyful, from physical touch to emotional support, is critical to getting them in the mood.
As strange as it may seem, spontaneous sex necessitates a great deal of preparation. It's still difficult to find time in between duties for a frolic together with busy schedules.
If designating a time and date for sex doesn't appeal to you, but you can't fit it in between putting the kids to bed and washing the dishes, look for a middle ground.
You don't have to write down the exact time and date on a calendar, but you can schedule a day or evening together.
You never know what will happen during this time, but scheduling time for you and your spouse to be spontaneous ensures that you will have the option to be alone together if you so desire.
Make a game out of it if you feel like you're always the one proposing sex and you'd like your partner to ask you more often.
Only your spouse can initiate for half of the week, and then it's your time for the other half.
You can also establish a restriction on the number of times you can propose in a given time window.
This way, the anticipation of when it will happen is maintained while the likelihood of it occurring is increased.
Again, speaking with your spouse about how much you both want to have sex is crucial. Make sure there isn't anything else causing their apprehension.
There's a lot of pressure, especially in heterosexual partnerships, that sex equals penetrative penis in vaginal sex, but this isn't always the case, and broadening your concept of sex can lead to increased activity and openness to try spontaneous sex.
Fingering, oral, or even sex toy play can be less time consuming than intercourse, allowing for more spontaneous sex. It's also crucial to consider your partner's enjoyment.
If your spouse doesn't orgasm all of the time, spontaneous sex might not seem worthwhile.
- Plan a surprise trip.
- Or a staycation.
- Have random and unplanned sex.
- Try something new.
- Take an exercise class together.
- Break household routines.
- Start listening more.
- Send a 'Simply Because' gift.
According to Chronister, "Unpredictability is associated with spontaneity, which increases the intensity and excitement in a relationship. Routine is the polar antithesis of spontaneity."
It may seem insignificant, but doing something unexpected for your partner can make a significant difference.
"If you're a spontaneous person, you'll first feel the mental desire, then the bodily arousal," Marin explains. "If you're a responsive type, physical arousal comes first, followed by mental desire."
Acts of spontaneity add to the thrill of a relationship. Acting on the spur of the moment might be frightening for some people.
Individuals who are afraid of a negative consequence may find it difficult to try anything new.
If you and your partner have a habit of watching TV after dinner, changing that pastime may be unsettling.
Make sure everyone's needs are addressed to make sex more appealing. Have a discussion with your partner to ensure that you both understand one other's preferences.
Brianna also mentions that attitude has a role. "When it comes to sex, some people have unrealistic expectations and put too much pressure on themselves. Sex can be silly, goofy, and fun!"
To add diversity and explore your passions, try introducing sex games. It may appear to be straightforward.
If you communicate, you'll be able to figure out what your spouse wants. Relationships, on the other hand, are rarely so simple, and learning to communicate effectively can require a lot of effort. A variety of things may be at play.