I’ll never forget the first time I laid eyes on the bizarre yet strangely endearing psychopath. It was the first day at college and I got seated by some equally bizarre character – a loner called Liam.
He showed me an episode and I was instantly hooked by what I had seen. I knew me and Liam were going to be friends, and 10 years later we are still best mates.
Weird that old ‘life ‘thing isn’t it?
A lot has happened in the time since, but one thing remains: a nostalgic cult following for that Salad (?) with the long fingers, Salad Fingers.
Now that the youngsters who grew up on his antics are in proper, adult jobs, I guess they feel it’s their duty to show the youth what they’ve been missing out on, which is presumably why Canadian teacher James Thwaites showed his class an episode of the series.
Sadly, though, it was deemed too weird and he received a temporary suspension.
It just goes to show you how times have changed in such a short space of time. Everyone’s so sensitive these days!
The videos he decided to show his class at a school district just north of Prince George, British Columbia, were Salad Fingers, Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared, and ASDF Movie.
For those that don’t know, Salad Fingers is a creation of British animator David Firth that came out in 2004. The web cartoon essentially features a weird salad man who gets turned on by rusty stuff. There’s also themes of cannibalism, and I think, war, but it’s so friggin’ weird I can’t be sure.
The British Columbia Commissioner for Teacher Regulation, Howard Kushner, released a statement in which they outlined the reasons for the teacher’s suspension.
It’s almost as random as Salad Fingers.
It read: “One called Salad Fingers featured an animated character who says ‘the feeling of rust against my salad fingers is almost orgasmic’ followed by ‘I must caress your rusty kettle’.
“The second film was called Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared which shows puppets drawing skulls, then trying to glue glitter on an anatomical heart, cutting a pie made of bloody meat and writing out the word ‘death’.”
“The third video was called the Asdfmovie which depicts stick characters including one female stabbing each other in a fit of jealousy, and then a number of dead stick children.”
To be fair, it’s not as if this is his only misdemeanour. He was also reprimanded for talking with his students about “crushes” and, after asking one of his students about his girlfriend, remarked “oh, you’re such a player.” He also told his class about his “expensive” divorce, and how he was dating a woman from abroad.
The suspension document, signed by the commissioner and the teacher himself, states that he knows that he ‘demonstrated poor judgement in his interactions with students in sharing inappropriate videos and personal information with them’.
He just sounds like a bad teacher to be fair. Probably watched too much Salad Fingers growing up. Warped his mind.
As I say, he was only temporarily suspended and resumed normal teaching two days after.
When I was at school we used to have a teacher who would occasionally look at dildos and sex objects on his laptop without realising the projector was on. He never received a suspension.
This seems a bit harsh.
Images via YouTube/David Firth
Charismatic, witty, charming, engaging - four things Joshua Rogers will never be. Thankfully, he’s a semi-competent writer, who, after graduating university with two mostly pointless degrees, joined The Hook two years ago. Since then, he has honed his writing skills over the course of various sex related articles. Now, at the tender age of 26, he’s finally finished experimenting with (on) himself.