There’s Apparently An Unseen Edit Of ‘Cats’ Where They All Have Buttholes And Fans Want To See It

Ben PulsfordBen Pulsford in Entertainment, Film, Funny, News, Weird
Published 18.03.20

Cats allegedly got its VFX editors to add buttholes, then remove the buttholes, and OF COURSE now people want to see the butthole edit

Here’s a story about Cats and buttholes for all those sick of reading about coronavirus.

I feel like the release of Cats in cinemas back in December 2019 was, in fact, one of the signs of the hellish apocalypse we’re now all weathering. It was bad; in fact, it was ‘end-of-f*cking-days-omen-of-the-apocalypse. And if you’ve seen it, then you know that already.

But looking back, I can’t help but think that through it’s non-sensical, self-indulgent, fever-dream aesthetics, it was somehow trying to prepare us for tougher times ahead.

God, we just didn’t listen.

If you haven’t yet seen Cats yet, I do hope I’ve just painted a picture for you there. But in short – it was cat sh*t; but like soggy cat shit that you can’t get out of the carpet. It just lingers.

What would have helped make the film far less bizarre overall is if the actors’ proportions made any kind of sense. Body parts – including genitalia and bums (like, where the f*ck was Jason Derulo’s notorious bulge?) – were sort of edited out in post-production and with the added digital fur, the actors ended up looking like demented furry/mannequin hybrids. It was very disturbing.

Here’s where I get to the actual news story, I promise.

Yesterday, Cats writer Ben Mekler tweeted that he wanted to write and release a tell-all book about the making of the film, saying “it could really help” him get through the coronavirus pandemic.

That’s a story in and of itself, but our story was sparked when one of Mekler’s followers replied with some scalding hot tea from his VFX producer friend who worked on the movie.

Jack Waz tweeted in response to Ben, saying:

“A VFX producer friend of a friend was hired in November to finish some of the 400 effects shots in @catsmovie . His entire job was to remove CGI buttholes that had been inserted a few months before. Which means that, somewhere out there, there exists a butthole cut of Cats.”

Yep, apparently a butthole edit of Cats exists and yes, of course, the internet is fascinated – in fact, the hashtag #ReleaseTheButtHoleCut was trending earlier today.

Naturally, fans are up in arms and have been sharing their thoughts incessantly over the last few hours.

One Twitter user commented:

“But that also means that a conversation was had about both putting the buttholes in and removing them and to be a fly on that wall.”
Another wrote:
“Cats execs took a gamble removing the buttholes, and the film tanked in theaters. Learn from your mistakes. #ReleaseTheButtholeCut.”
A third commented:
“I refuse to see this film until the buttholes are restored.”
Taylor Swift poses at the World Premiere of the new film “Cats” based on the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical at Alice Tully Hall, Lincoln Center on 16th December 2019 in New York City.

If you ask me, the hidden ‘butthole’ edit could seriously help this dumpster-fire of a film rise from the ashes with a fresh allure – a hilarious allure, where we can all giggle at digital buttholes together for two hours. I think we all need that right now.

I can tell you right now – Universal, I know you’re reading this – my gays would pay good money to watch this edit.

Hey, it got your minds off coronavirus for at least three minutes there.

Images via Universal and Getty

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