Thousands Of Penis Fish Have Washed Up In California

Alfie PowellAlfie Powell in News, Weird
Published 17.12.19

Thousands of penis fish have made their ways onto the shores of a Californian beach, washing up in droves in some pretty disturbing scenes.

Obviously the fish aren’t actually known as “penis fish” and rather go by marine worms – and sometimes “fat innkeeper worms” – but for obvious reasons, they’ve left the shore of Drake’s beach resembling a girls DMs after posting a bikini picture on Instagram.


They really do look like a pack of dicks.

I was referring to the name of that song, by the way, not Radiohead’s Thom Yorke. Mind you…


The fish washed up on Drake’s beach – 31 miles north of San Fransisco – after winter storms, and are actually fairly common on the West Coast of America, however given that the worms’ burrows are usually subterranean, locals rarely see them.

You’d remember seeing something like that, wouldn’t you. The state of California would not be seen nearly as glamorous as it is if those fish were always there.

penis fish wash up

Why would you pick one up?


The resulting waves from the harsh storms washed away much of the sand that the worms live beneath, which is what lead to them appearing on the shore of Drake’s beach and honestly? Put the sand back. They’re f*cking vile.

Knowing my luck, if I believed in reincarnation, I’d definitely come back as one of them.

You’d think that the plus side of coming back as one of them would be that it would presumably be over fairly quickly, but unless you’re eating in China or Korea (which is a thing there), you’re have to live as one of those gross worms for up to 25 years. That’s far too long to be a dick.


The news was originally shared by Bay Nature Magazine who, among other things, wrote:

[…] just think about the hundreds of 10-inch, pink sausages wiggling around just a few feet under the sand.”

Thanks guys.


I feel a bit sick.

Images via Instagram