It takes about a day and a half of swiping until I realise I’m probably better off single.
Tinder has a profound way of making you hate almost everyone concerned when it comes to looking for other halves, and that’s before you read their bios.
A dangerous amount of women abjectly telling you not to bother messaging them unless you’re eight-feet-tall and especially don’t say the greeting that literally no-one is too good for. You know, “hello”. Horrible word, apparently.
Now obviously I can’t speak for people looking for men’s experiences on the app, but I can imagine some of the stuff seen is absolutely reprehensible and, well, it turns out my suspicions were correct.
26-year-old Chad is either a brilliant prankster or one of the worst men on Tinder and apparently he’s only two miles away. Sh*t.
With his profile shared on Reddit, little shirtless Chad went just a bit viral as he shared his very strict list of requirements for his next squeeze…
Listen, I’m a human and a very shallow one at that. I obviously have preferences when it comes to who I’m going to date and if you say you don’t, you’re lying. But with that said, I really never would but those preferences in my bio.
This is what I said in my bio. Hardly better, on second thoughts…
That’s literally the reason you go on dates, i.e. to see if this person fits your preferences or, in some cases, transcends them.
This guy’s got it all wrong, and his comments about the head really messes with the tone of his list.
I’ve just realised that at the end of his list, Chad says:
“If you fit these criteria, swipe right, I will not not settle for anything less.“
Curse you, Chad, and your double negative. Was that on purpose? Are you an idiot? Are you being subversive? Good knows now.
Brilliant. This might have been a waste of time.
Images via Tinder, Reddit
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down.Follow