From punch-worthy punchlines to woeful wordplay, it is well known that Dad Jokes and Bad Jokes are synonymous.

Dad jokes are awful. The worst of the worst. Incomparably horrific. Yet something about these horrifically unfunny jokes makes it impossible to stop your lip from unconsciously curling into an unwanted smile.

Somewhere deep down, you love them, and somewhere, even deeper down, you’re pissing yourself with laughter – and that is why we’ve rounded up the Top 25 Dad Jokes of all time. You’re welcome.


1 ) What’s brown and sticky? A Stick



2) I was going to tell you a really good joke about a blunt pencil, but then I realised there’s no point.




4) Why are pirates called pirates? Because they ARRRRRRRRRR.


5) I was going to tell you a really good joke about paper, but then I realised it’s tearable! 


6) I once entered 10 puns into a pun competition, hoping that at least one would win. No pun in ten did.


7) Rick Astley will let you borrow any of his Pixar collection DVDs but he will never give you Up.




9) What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park your car, man.


10) I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down! 


11) Why did the blind man fall down a well? Because he couldn’t see that well. 


12) What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather? A shoe.




14) What’s the definition of surprise? A fart with a lump in it.


15) So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means?? It’s not the end of the world!


16) Have you heard of that film ‘Constipation?’  Actually, you probably haven’t – it hasn’t come out yet


17) To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing! 




19) What’s the fastest cake in the world? Scone.


20) I tried to organise a Space themed birthday party, but it would have taken too long to planet.


21) Today, my son asked, “Can I have a book mark?” and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is John.


22) Shout out to the people that don’t know what the opposite of in is!




24) I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.


25) RIP boiling water. You will be mist.


And there you have it. The top 25 worst, yet best, Dad jokes of all time. 

Images via Alamy