A woman posted a couple of pictures on Facebook of the huntsman spider that was in her house and it’s actually terrifying.
Look, I know people always say that huntsman spiders aren’t actually dangerous and it’s the little colourful ones that you want to watch out for, but these things are spawn from Lucifer himself and I won’t hear any other theory.
They’re f*cking awful and you sickos out there who like spiders – huntsmen included – you’re sickos.
Eight legs. EIGHT?! That’s enough to be terrifying and useful, but not too many to be a hassle, like with millipedes or several dogs taped together.
Two eyes is the perfect amount of eyes. Can’t go wrong with two. Lucky two! Nah eight again. One eye for each leg. And these aren’t normal eyes – windows to the souls and all that – these are just black beads of death and sadness.
So obviously this was in Australia because that country is just a big old practical joke, but in a cruel twist, many of the locals still haven’t adapted to living among the monsters.
Laree Clarke is one of those people as her house in the most generically named place in the world, Townsville, Queensland, was invaded by a huntsman spider the size of an adult’s hand.
Coming home and seeing the huge eight-legged prick, she took a couple of pictures and posted them to Facebook, with the caption:
“Is there anyone that could remove this from my house?? Now!???“
Succinct. I like it.
She said she tried to remove it herself, but couldn’t as it was too big. she also mentioned that it reared up at her, bearing its fangs at one point.
“I don’t have a container that big! When I went near it with the phone light it come at me raising it fangs and legs. Hell nahhhh!“
God that sounds awful.
Not a fan, myself. Not into spiders.
Nor, it seems, is this anonymous woman from Cairo, New York, as she crashed her car into a wall because she saw a spider. They’re history’s greatest monster. I don’t blame her.
I’m no mechanic but by the looks of things, her car is 100% written off and along with that, the woman had the pleasure of injuring her leg.
Police in Cairo – again, New York, not Egypt – shared an image of the car to Facebook, along with a post that read:
“Thank you again for the help Cairo Fire, Cairo Ambulance, Greene County Medics and Greene County Sheriffs.
After investigating today’s crash on Silver Spur Road we feel it necessary to bring up a contributing factor that is not covered too often. It is believed that the operator of the vehicle noticed a SPIDER in the drivers area with her as she was driving.
The operator panicked and crashed suffering a leg injury from the crash.
We know that it is easier for some drivers than others but PLEASE, try to teach new drivers and yourselves to overcome the fear and pull over to a safe place. Lives depend on it.”
She knew her time had come and she tried to take the spider with her. There’s a lot to respect about this particular lady’s graft.
With that said, I seriously doubt the spider was damaged. Insects just don’t take fall damage.
“Oooh Alfie, spiders aren’t insect, they’re arachnids!!“
Images via Facebook, Netflix, Town of Cairo New York Police Department