Chances are, your ex’s face is the last thing you’d want near your nether regions ever again.
But, amongst all the schmaltzy Valentine’s flowers, chocolates and cut-prize fizz, there’s a gift with a difference.
You can now get their face printed onto a toilet roll. Remember last year when everyone was hoarding the stuff? Now you can have your own personalised stash.
You can get your hands on one for £7.89 (previously £13.99) on the Toilet Face website.
On the website, you can upload a picture of your ex (or anyone else you find entertaining) and even add text to the tissue. Maybe write a reason why you shouldn’t return their calls or texts ever again.
If you’re feeling generous, you can buy it as a gift for a friend or loved one who always needs an extra push not to return to a toxic ex. You can have the present gift wrapped for an extra £1.99.
Nobody wants to ruin the environment, fortunately, this tissue is made from recycled paper and vegan inks (FSC Certified).
Of course, it doesn’t have to be an ex. This could be a great gift for a hen do or stag party, to put the poor target’s face on a memorable memento. Or, if you don’t like traditional romance and happen to have a niche in-joke with your partner about loo roll, you’re in luck there too.
One thing though, try to make sure the picture is of good quality, we’d hate for them to be all blurry. The Toilet Face website says states: ‘We accept all image qualities, but to get the very best results, choose an image with lots of colour, which is non-pixelated. This is not a criteria, but a recommendation. It’s bog-standard!’
Who says romance is dead?
If toilet roll isn’t enough, what about naming a cockroach after them? So sweet.
There’s ‘Cry Me a Cockroach’ event coming up soon. It’s happening at San Antonio Zoo and will be live-streaming on Facebook.
For the princely sum of just $5 (£3.65), you can name a bug which will then be fed to one of the animals on Valentine’s Day.
Maybe not one for the vegans.
Anyone who buys a cockroach also receives a social media certificate to commemorate the occasion.
The zoo says on Facebook: “It’s time to send us the name of whoever’s been ‘bugging’ you. An ex, a boss, or whoever has been a thorn in your side – and we’ll name a roach after them in your honour.”
“This time around even more of our zoo animals will be involved in the fun, including our fan-favourite meerkats, and we’ll stream it on Facebook for the world to see the weekend of Valentine’s Day, February 13-14.”
Would you go for the loo roll or the cockroach?
Image via Alamy