Good times. I never thanked her for that actually. Maybe I should? These days if I want warm underwear I have to put them on the radiator myself and honestly? It’s not the same.
I say that, it turns out you can get underwear that stays warm all day – so long as you keep it charged up – so it’s very much a modern day alternative to getting your mum to be quite nice and loving.
Oh what’s this? It turns out I’m wrong, as these pants are only available for people with vaginas and honestly, most of the perks – other than keeping you warm – seem very vagina-based.
The QQA Charging Smart Heated Panties are battery-powered and rechargeable, boasting a twelve hour lifespan and various temperature settings, including “winter warming”, “palace cold” and “daily health.”
The product description on Amazon also goes some way to make the underwear seem like less of a funny gimmick, saying they can:
“regulate menstruation, nourish the uterus, play an anti-inflammatory repair, scientifically regulate the uterus environment, effectively protect the health and fertility, especially suitable for uterine damage, gynaecological inflammation, cold infertility and unmarried cold after abortion Dysmenorrhea caused by uterine body due to palace cold.”
If pants aren’t your thing, then maybe the way forward for you is a heated jacket?
Enter Ororo, who have brilliantly made jackets that have heaters in them and have them available on Amazon for you to get in time for the cold months ahead.
They’re not cheap, mind, coming in at $140, but they having heating elements around the chest and mid back area, powered by a rechargeable power pack that sits in the inner-left pocket.
There’s three heating options to chose from, and if being warm doesn’t float your boat, then the power pack can charge your phone in stead.
Ororo say that the battery will last for eight hours in use and the reviews are pretty glowing, with people saying the heating works dangerously quickly and it doesn’t get too stuffy, which was something I was genuinely put off by.
Rather handily, the jacket that comes in men’s and women’s sizes is also water and wind resistant.
Images via Ororo, QQA
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down.Follow