This summer holiday is more special than many others though, as this is the first one I’ll ever go on with my lovely girlfriend. We’re off to Spain to relax by the pool and/or sea, maybe see a few sights in what I imagine she imagines will be a pretty romantic trip…
Not likely, doll, I’m getting this f*ck-off-big sausage dog inflatable for the pool to embarrass you and even when you do warm to it, I’m not going to let you have a go.
I’m a bastard.
The good news is that it’s available on Amazon, so what I’m going to do is make her feel at ease during the first couple of days of the holiday, being more or less normal, and then you better believe I’m Prime-ing that boi to the apartment to ruin the holiday, splashing around and getting children trapped underneath it in the pool. I’ll be a menace.
The float is just under eight-foot long, is “surprisingly” durable and is even coloured using eco-friendly pigments.
You can get yours here for just under £60 (going by the $70 price) and you know… do it.
If dogs aren’t your speed though and you’re more into boats, then try this boat for size…
Now, I really want a boat. I’ve always wanted a boat. I even went as far once as to buy the hull for a speed boat for something silly like £10 from eBay.
I proudly told my dad, to which he replied “you’re not keeping it in the driveway”. I ended up getting banned from eBay.
You can’t get banned from Amazon, though, and this may be the salvation I’ve been looking for. Granted, it’s only an inflatable, like the dog, but I’m sure you could fit an outboard motor to it with some gaffer tape.
*you absolutely shouldn’t do that*
Masterfully called the 6-Person Inflatable Bay Breeze Boat Island Party Island, the 6-Person Inflatable Bay Breeze Boat Island Party Island is pretty big, and is designed to fit six people and their drinks in the excellent cooler.
I’m really looking forward to the blanket switch to the metric system, since the stats I have for the 6-Person Inflatable Bay Breeze Boat Island Party Island here are 20 feet long x 10 feet wide x 3 feet tall. Along with that, it weighs 60 pounds, whatever that means.
Apparently it takes 20 minutes to pump up and also, also, the price ranges from £171.09 to £213.08. Not cheap. You may as well get the real thing. How much is a 20 foot speed boat?
Hmmm yeah probably won’t.
Images via Amazon, Boats.com, MGM
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down.Follow