I don’t know what’s going on at KFC HQ these days but clearly their ideas department has got some new blood in because they’re coming up with some bizarre and downright delicious delicacies to fatten us up while simultaneously running up exorbitant costs to the NHS.
As I say, God’s work.
Not content at clogging up our arteries with ‘The Nug-A-Lot’ and ‘The Imposter’ – those chicken connoisseurs have come up with an all-new burger which they’re inviting people to make themselves.
A DIY burger – that’s what I want when I order fast-food, a burger I have to manually construct.
As you’ll know, last weekend was National Fried Chicken Day and to celebrate such a landmark occasion KFC have come up with the ‘Hacker’ burger.
It’s got all the things you could ever want in a burger: zinger chicken fillet, cheese, gravy, a hash brown and garlic mayo, and if that isn’t a heart attack waiting to happen I don’t know what is.
A KFC spokesperson paid tribute to the Hacker Burger, telling the Daily Star:
“We just had to go big for National Fried Chicken Day.
“And what better way to celebrate than with a burger in honour of the real chicken aficionados? Our fans always tell us about their favourite KFC items, so it was only fitting to put them all together for the ultimate National Fried Chicken Day treat!”
Now, this isn’t a burger you can actually order off the menu, but it’s a way to manipulate existing dishes to make your very own tasty treat.
Here’s how to do it: Get a Zinger Tower Burger without the mayo and salsa, then a Mini Fillet Burger with no mayo, plus a pot of gravy and some garlic mayo dip.
Then take off the top of the Tower Burger, removing all of the delicious fillings for later. On the bottom bum, apply that garlic mayo, and take the lettuce from the Zinger and add it on top.
Now, add your Zinger chicken fillet, then another layer of garlic mayonnaise, then add the hash brown and the cheese. Then, introduce the Mini fillet to proceedings, topped with a layer of gravy. Add some left over cheese, before finishing things off with that extra lettuce from the Mini Fillet.
I’m not going to lie, it’s a monumental faff and I could not be arsed going to these lengths to make it. Just eat the damn food and have done with it.
You can buy all the components to the burger in the UK, but if it proves popular, KFC says it could even become part of the actual menu by this time next year.
I wouldn’t expect them too though; surely there’s actual guidelines and limitations about how many calories you can put in a single meal, and whatever they are this Hacker burger definitely exceeds them.
Diabetes, heart failure – now that’s finger lickin’ good!
Images via KFC
Charismatic, witty, charming, engaging - four things Joshua Rogers will never be. Thankfully, he’s a semi-competent writer, who, after graduating university with two mostly pointless degrees, joined The Hook two years ago. He subsequently honed his writing skills over the course of several sex-related articles, bringing a very public shame to his family's good name.