Annoyingly, never the twain shall meet and I’m left here not experiencing true joy at it’s purest form. Obviously I don’t actually want to hit the public highway with a few units to my name, but a track-day after a couple of jars is the dream.
Another annoying qualm I have with my love affair with drinking is that it’s bad for you. I’m trying to put on weight and be tasty, but I read somewhere that beer contains heaps of oestrogen, which inhibits muscle-growth. Grrrr.
It seems like all I’m allowed to drink is water and protein shakes. What I need is some kind of protein-based beer (something I actually looked into and found a lot of failed ventures) and alcoholic water. What a world that would be.
Well as I said, protein beer was a thing – with as much protein in one bottle as a sirloin steak! – but it wasn’t to be…
But booze water? That’s here, baby!
Called Pura Still, the “spiked” still water offers you a new way to get absolutely taffined, as it’s just slightly flavoured water that has alcohol in it.
Each 330ml bottle contains just 90 calories in total, as well as a hefty 4.5 per cent alcohol by volume so you’d basically be loosing weight as you went on the razz.
The main ingredients for the boozy goodness include purified water, a malt alcohol base, cane sugar, citric acid, natural flavors, coconut water powder, and sodium benzoate. The latter of which I was convinced was the bad ingredient of the “chosen toppings” that you can have with your cursed frogurt in The Simpsons.
It turns out that’s Potassium Benzoate, not Sodium, So never mind. Back to the drink…
The drink’s website claims:
“Pura Still is made from our proprietary triple filtered malt alcohol base and does not contain any liquor or spirits.
The alcohol comes from fermenting malted barley extract and natural sugars and is then filtered through our proprietary filtration technology.
The result is a high quality clear, neutral alcohol base that is so clean that it is preferred over premium vodkas in taste tests.“
As people on Twitter and various models have it, Pura Still tastes pretty amazing, coming in flavours such as mandarin, peach and blackberry. However, since most of the people commending the drink are beautiful young women, it’s hard to know if they’re being pad to say as much…
A few people on Twitter are having a go at Pura Still for being disgusting, mind. The general vibe is that it’s a bad drink because it’s not carbonated, almost as if that’s not heavily implied in one half of the brand’s name.
I mean I’m probably going to try it at some point and even if I don’t like it, I can’t imagine it will be bad enough for me to stop drinking it.
We’ll have to wait and see.
Images via Getty, Instagram, Pura Still, Fox
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down.Follow