Now I know that it’s not actually technically summer and we had that gorgeous four-day weekend last month, but it’s June now and I’m not putting up with only having four nice days in a whole year. That’s unacceptable.
Last year was something else. Solid sun for a good two months. I came to miss the rain at some point. It was just so dangerously hot that I wanted to fly to Spain to get a break from the heat.
There was a moment last summer when I was on my commute home and, thanks to the magic and brilliance of the genuinely appalling South Western Railways, the air conditioning was broke and the windows wouldn’t open. I was literally dripping with sweat and when I went to move, I realised my arms had left two massive soaking wet patches on my shorts that I was leaning on. Very embarrassing stuff.
I need airier shorts that don’t show up sweat patches. I need them.
I should have been careful what I wished for, since they sort of exist and they’re pretty awful. Almost completely horrible but you know, each to their own.
Courtesy of Hologram City, these lace shorts that look like the doily that one of the dwarves tries to take from Bilbo on The Hobbit, will set you back $42 (£32) and have matching shirts for the same price.
Like I say, absolutely horrible but they come in five colours, in the forms of pink, blue, purple, black and white. Swings and roundabouts.
They are almost completely see-through and I’m pretty much certain that you wouldn’t be allowed into any venue worth going to whilst wearing something like these shorts.
Sure, I think you’re supposed to wear underwear beneath them, but it’s not a great look, is it? Sometimes I don’t want the pressure of having to wear really nice pants every time I wear my airy shorts.
I don’t know. You do you.
Images via Hologram City
Alfie Powell joined as an apprentice and was probably hired because he was likely the only person who applied. He's been blagging his way through writing articles for four years now and he's definitely showing signs of slowing down. When not writing for The Hook, Alfie finds time to indulge in his favourite hobbies, such as drinking and sitting down.Follow