You Can Buy Freezable Bra Inserts To Stop Your Boobs Sweating In This Heatwave

AvatarKatherine Waldock in Funny, News
Published 25.07.19
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Freezable bra liners, why have these never been made before?

In case you haven’t noticed, it is hot outside. Like, really hot. One might even say apocalyptically hot. With the heatwave hitting the UK as hard as Trump hits at climate change scientists, it’s becoming kind of difficult to go outside without sweating more than a polar bear in Spain. As many women know, the hottest place on the body is the boobs. It’s a fact, ask a doctor. So in the heatwave, boob-sweat is a genuine and valid problem that plenty of women will suffer from.

That is where Polar Products come in. They have come out with the very serious sounding ‘Cool58®’ Bra Coolers. The Bra Coolers boast a ‘refreshing cool down in just the right places!’

Now, I know what you’re thinking. These things are so unnecessary, yet ANOTHER capitalist ploy to get us women to shell out extra money. Classic. But listen here, for the incredibly fair and not at all extortionate price of £30, you can cool down your boobs on the 3 days a year in which Britain has an increase in temperature. Exciting stuff.

I do have my questions. Nothing is perfect in life. Believe it or not, there is a chance that these Bra Coolers aren’t perfect too. For instance, apparently the cooling packs ‘freeze solid’. Not sure about you, but I generally don’t like the idea of solid ‘packs’ being tightly pressed against my boobs for up to an hour long. They do this freezing business at the ‘moderate and comfortable temperature of 14° degrees – so basically a nice summers’ day for us Brits – and will keep cool for a good two hours. That being said, they come with very fetching cotton covers, and as I am writing this, there is a 10% discount on them!

The company says: “Cool58° cooling packs freeze solid at a moderate and comfortable temperature of 58° Fahrenheit, so they can be activated in a freezer, refrigerator, or even a cooler of ice water.

“Packs can simply be submerged in ice water or placed in a refrigerator or freezer to activate.

“Activate by simply submerging the packs into ice water for up to 20 minutes when access to freezers is not available.”

The reviews are relatively positive too. Kristen is a big fan! She has decided that the bra coolers are in fact ‘better than Santa Claus’. It is probably true, because I would never feel comfortable with Santa Claus attempting to cool my boobs, either. It is also worth noting that ‘Jake S’ is ‘feeling cooler’, so that’s nice to hear.

Unfortunately, if you have bigger boobs, you do have to pay more though, as they recommend for size D and up that you buy a Double Set. That means it is more expensive for a girl with bigger boobs to purchase this product. So anyone who actually has a bigger need for this Bra Coolers in the heatwave (because bigger boobs= hotter. It’s true, ask any scientist) must spend £60 on them. That’s where they get you. Typical.

Now, if you aren’t a big fan of the idea of Bra Coolers, why not try Polar Products’ ‘Fashion Cooling Scarves’ (their description, not mine). One quick look at these bad boys and you will be wondering why you never before thought to spend 35 quid on a scarf that cools you. The Polar Products team were really thinking outside the box for that one. It is a scarf, a clothing item inherently designed to keep your neck warm, and yet there are some ‘discreet’ cooling packs in it. Genius.

I mean, willy warmers is a thing, so why not bra coolers? I do have my queries, but they might just prove me wrong! Put it this way, I wouldn’t mind if Polar Products sent me a pair right now…

Images via Polar Products

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